“If he took dancing from you, take it back. Every chance you get.”
A small cry rose from her throat as she nodded against my shoulder.
The starting piano introduction toSomewhere Over Laredoby Lainey Wilson filled the air and I smiled again, even as a lump formed in my throat. Maybe comparing my feelings for Laurel to my feelings for Hollie wasn’t right, but I couldn’t stop myself. Laurel and I hadcompanionship and history that couldn’t be rivaled by a few weeks at Meadowbrook, but I knewcarewhen I felt it. And I knewlove.
The realization stole the breath from my lungs, nearly knocked me flat as conflicting feelings declared war in my chest. Would loving Hollie somehow change the way I still loved Laurel? The part of me still loyal to her wanted to dig in my heels and hold myself back. But I didn’t know if I could. The current dragged me toward the fall.
I couldn’t say I loved Hollie, no, but love stood on the horizon like an oasis in the desert.
I was well on my way. Almost there.
I took a deep drag of Hollie’ scent then murmured, my voice rasping with a strong cocktail of feelings. “Do you trust me?”
She lifted her face, and I swiped a tear from her cheek with my thumb. “I do.”
“Then close your eyes.”
They fluttered closed and her brow furrowed. Cupping the back of her head, I pulled her into my chest, escalating the tempo of our two-step just atouchto join Lainey’s lyrics about red eye flights and window seats. I held her against my beating heart and clenched my jaw against my own tears.
In something as inconsequential as a dance, we faced our darkness.
She danced while I fell.
On the first strum of the chorus, I lifted my hand, spinning her away, smiling when I saw her eyes were still closed. She followed step by step, back into the cradle of my arms then followed my lead when I rolled her out to the left.
Lainey crooned the familiar words over us, and I let myself feel all the things they brought to the surface of my soul. The ache, the regret, the threads of hope. Hollie felt them too, her tears and soft smile the evidence. On the final chorus, I dipped her. She leaned into it with a level of grace and trust I’d never seen in a dancer before. I leaned with her, keeping most of our body contact, greedy to let my hands linger on her arched back and waist and unwilling to let her get too far away.
When she came back up, her arms clasped around my neck, andmine settled low on her waist. Her eyes finally opened as our foreheads pressed together. Man, I wanted to kiss her. My eyes fell to her soft, pink mouth. Keeping my head when I knew how eager those lips were was no small feat. But, she had so much to think through. So many decisions to make. Kissing her again might feel right in the moment, but make her future more complicated than it had to be.
I wouldn’t do that until I was certain she wanted this as much as I did.
A sharp whistling sound pierced the night and a flash as bright as lightning pulled our gazes upward. A loud snap washed the dark sky in brilliant red and gold. Hollie smiled, her eyes brightening. “You were right. This is a great view.”
The end of the song got drowned out by booms that shook the atmosphere. Clasping her hands, I turned her under my right arm until she spun backwards into my chest, our hands joined over her torso. Holding her from behind, I watched the fireworks, my body aware of nothing but her—the way her curls tickled my nose, the way she leaned into me, the way she lifted her face to look at mine. Without meaning to, I snuggled in, tucking my head against hers, my fingers slowly kneading her hands, wrists, and arms.
Tangled, we watched the fireworks until the sky went dark. And I felt, in that moment, the looming dread of loss. She only had eight days left in Texas.
Then I’d lose her too, wouldn’t I?
THIRTY-FOUR
Hollie
The sparks on the end of Jesse’s sparkler spewed into the air as he touched it to the tip of Nora’s. Nora, wiggling with excitement, couldn’t hold still long enough to light it. Jesse grabbed her hand to hold it steady and touched the end of their sparklers together.
Golden light washed over her face as she shrieked. “Mommy!”
“I see, baby. That’s so cool.”
“You get one, Mommy!”
Jesse turned to light Izzy and Cade’s and the three children twirled around the big open barnyard, spelling their names and shouting with happiness. They danced to the music coming from the Ford Ranger truck speakers, which was parked just a little ways from our picnic table on the porch, where we’d stuffed ourselves with Fourth of July burgers and watermelon and played cornhole with a few of the guests that had wandered out to join us.
Izzy and Nora were different creatures here at Meadowbrook. I was, too. We had dirty fingernails, tanned faces, and hugesmiles. But time disappeared faster than I could savor it. It had already been three nights since the rodeo.Three.The passing days had been my regular routine: caring for the guests, Bea, and the girls. And I spent every spare moment with Jesse.
But we wouldn’t get more alone time, or late rodeo nights together.
Our time would be stolen moments, snuck here and there between our duties. The ache in my chest when I thought about leaving him felt nothing like friendship. It couldn’t belovethough because I hadn’t known him long enough. Although, admittedly, my experience with love thus far wasn’t very healthy, so maybe I had no idea what love even felt like.
