Present Day
I’m startled awake when I hear my bedroom door open. Rubbing my eyes to wipe away the sleep, I find that I’m still in Ethan’s room.I must have fallen asleep here.
The sun shining through the windows is brighter than it has any right to be, and I groan internally.
Looking towards the door to see who has opened it, I’m shocked to see Sam standing there, surprise showing inhis chocolate-brown eyes.
I jolt upright, and my stomach clenches with anxiety. I’m not ready to see him, and certainly not like this.
I knew it was inevitable that I would see him this week. I just thought I'd be fresh and wearing clean clothes. Not startled awake, probably with drool dripping down my face. I quickly wipe my mouth only to find it dry.Thank God!
I look down at myself to see I’m still wearing Ethan’s letterman’s jacket. Running my hands through my hair, I find it’s a tangled mess. My face feels flushed, and my eyes are sore. I can only imagine they’re puffy from crying all night.
Why did he have to find me like this?Of course, he looks like the god I know he is. Perfectly put together and sexy as sin.
Sam’s light brown hair is shorter than when I last saw him, but still long enough to brush along his forehead. It looks a little mussed, like he’s been running his hands through it.
Sam has a short beard, making me think he hasn’t shaved in a couple of weeks. I want to rub my hands through his beard.
Woman! Stop. Right. Now.
I shake my head slightly as if that will help clear my thoughts. These kinds of thoughts are one of the main reasons I avoid him when he’s around.
God, it’s ridiculous that after seven years, I’m still overwhelmingly attracted to Sam. I still want him and still want him to want me. I can’t seem to stop myself from thinking about how good he looks. About how much I want to…
Nope!
He's wearing dark jeans and a fitted cobalt blue T-shirt that shows off his muscular arms and tattoos. Sam was always fit, but this version? He looks like he’s spent some serious time at the gym. Sam’s hands are by his sides, flexing.
I’ve never seen him with tattoos, and I take a moment to admire them now. Black and white pine trees are inked down the length of his left arm, stopping just before his wrist. I can’t see the entire thing,but I’m positive he has a full sleeve. It reminds me of the forests in Seattle.
His right arm also has tattoos that stop just below his shirt sleeve, but I can’t tell what they are. The sight of Sam with tattoos does something to my stomach. I bite my bottom lip as I contemplate this version of him.
Neither of us has spoken yet, and I’ve been staring at him for what feels like several minutes.
Well, this is awkward.
Looking away from him to break the weird connection, I shift my focus to the blanket partially covering me. I wonder which of my parents found me here last night. The thought makes my heart ache. They probably came in here for the same reason I did, to feel closer to Ethan and lessen the pain, only to find me here instead.
Remembering I still haven’t said anything to him, I look back up at Sam, my voice cracks when I finally speak, “What are you doing here?” My throat feels like sandpaper. It’s only now that I see his eyes look heavy and red with exhaustion.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be over this constant ache to be near him.
To have his arms around me.
To be loved by him.
Because no matter how much time passes, whenever I see Sam, I can’t stop thinking about how much I want him and how much I wish he would choose me.
And then I think about standing in that jewelry store confessing my love for a man who didn’t want me back. It’s a vicious cycle, really.
“Sorry for waking you, Kitty Kat,” he smirks, but it isn’t the one I’m used to seeing on his gorgeous face. This is half-hearted, as if it's all he can muster.
I want to be mad at him for using the nickname he gave me when we were kids, but my heart obviously has a mind of its ownsince it's galloping at the endearment. The way he says it makes my stomach do somersaults as if it’s getting ready to try out for the Olympics.
“I didn’t expect you would be in here.” Sam continues. Is he upset that I’m in Ethan’s room? All I know is that I don’t have the mental or emotional energy to find out.
“I didn’t expect to see you here either.” He flinches at my defensive tone and averts his gaze.Shit.I would do anything to remove that look from his face.
