Whenever Ethan brought Sam up, I quickly changed the subject or left the room. Whenever we were in Charleston at the same time, I made myself scarce.
Pathetic, I know.
I acted like a child.
Even now, knowing I should have reacted differently, should have been excited for Sam, I still can’t get the crushing weight of his rejection and embarrassment off my chest. I can’t stop his words from repeating in my mind: I was just his friend’s kid sister. He didn’t want more. He didn’t wantme.
I groan slightly as I run my fingers along the picture frame in my hands.I take a deep breath and blow it back out as I set the frame back on Ethan’s nightstand, willing Sam from my mind.
Slowly, I stand up and walk toward the bookcase. It still has the track trophies and awards he won, and so many Stephen King books. Ethan went through a phase where he read everything Stephen King wrote that he could get his hands on, includingITandChildren of the Corn. After he readIT, he made me watch the movie with him. I still have nightmares about that shower scene, even after all these years.
Continuing my perusal, I notice some we both have—the ones Mom insisted we read and love as much as she does—Harper Lee’sTo Kill a Mockingbirdand S.E. Hinton’sThe Outsiders. To her credit, these are my favorite books, too.
“Stay gold, Ponyboy” is a line that lives in my head rent-free. I pick up ToKill a Mockingbirdand flip through the pages, noticing some underlined passages.
Walking back to Ethan’s bed, I read through some of his notes and highlights. “Greasers will still be greasers and Socs will still be Socs,” and “Nothing gold can stay,” are among the highlights inThe Outsiders.
Skipping ahead, I read the small passage of Johnny Cade’s death and his dying wish for Pony, that he “Stay gold.”
I can’t stop the tears that I’ve been holding back. Once they start, it’s like a dam has broken because they won’t stop now.
Nine years old.
“Should we watchBeauty and the BeastorCinderella?” I ask my friends.
“DefinitelyBeauty and the Beast.” Sophie’s voice is sure and confident in her decision. “I love Belle!”
Everyone says, “Yes!” in unison.
It’s my birthday, and I really wanted to have a sleepover and movie night with my closest friends.
We started the evening off by eating pizza and drinking chocolate milk. Once we finished eating, we playedUno, and then Mom brought out the cake.
Mom owns a bakery and bakes the best cakes! The chocolate with strawberry filled cake had pink frosting with purple and blue pansy flowers decorated on it. Pansies are my favorite flowers because they have cute little faces on them.
Next, I opened up presents from my friends. Liv gave me some barrettes and a makeup kit; Sophie and Kristen gave me Barbies; and Sam gave me this cool keychain with a cat on it. He’s called me Kitty Kat for as long as I can remember. Ethan gave me someX-Mencomic books, and my parents gave me a new bike that I can’t wait to try out.
After we finished our cake, we all helped my parents clean up and then went up to the third floor to watch movies.
Sam and Ethan went to Ethan’s room and stayed there the rest of the night. I guess they are too cool to hang out with “a bunch of girls.” Whatever, it’sbetter this way.
Settling into the loft between Ethan’s and my rooms, I see that Mom made each of us a movie tray with a bowl of popcorn and a box of our favorite candy. Liv and I both have red licorice; Sophie has Skittles; and Kristen has M&Ms.
I grab the disk and pop it into the machine. Then, grabbing my tray off the coffee table, I snuggle into my blanket between Sophie and Liv.
“This is the best birthday ever!” I squeal to my friends.
“I know. I’m so excited for all this popcorn and licorice!” Liv beams back at me.
“Especially after we already had pizza and cake!” Sophie snuggles into the couch more.
Glancing over at Kristen, I see she’s already digging into her popcorn with the biggest smile.
We’ve all seenBeauty and the Beastbefore, so we sing along to all the songs. Once the movie is over, we startCinderella.
The last thing I remember is Cinderella dancing with Prince Charming in her blue dress before I fell asleep, surrounded by my best friends.
***
