“That’s so not true,” Dawn defended.
“I disagree. You never know, he’s probably asking Kevin questions about you right now. Can I at least see what Kevin says?”
“Helllllll no, Ava, like seriously! If Kevin brings it to you then fine. But don’t go asking if he ain’t tellin’. Speaking of Kevin, when y’all gon’ stop playing games and make shit official? Ray Charles can see that the two of you are feeling one another. Even the vibe in the air when y’all are around each other feels different. You so worried about me, all up in my Kool-Aid and don’t know that flavor, when you gon’ move on from Justin’s ass and get you a real man on your team.”
“What you mean make things official and move on from Justin? For one, Justin and I are separated until our divorce is final, and Kevin and I aren’t dating. We’re just good friends who like spending time together, that’s all. To be honest, I’m not trying to jump into another relationship too fast and with good reason.”
“Yeah, okay. That’s your story.”
“I’m serious. I just dodged a serious bullet. I’m not trying to get all wrapped up into another man like that right now.”
“From what I can see, Kevin seems like a good guy, and you know that’s rare. It’s obvious that he’s into you, girl. I know you know that.”
“Kevin is a great guy actually. But my divorce isn’t even final yet.”
“Girl, who cares! Unless you have reservations and are thinking about going back to Justin, that marriage shouldn’t matter anymore.”
“Wow, you can be so cold sometimes, D.”
“I’m not trying to be cold, sis. I’m just keeping it real with you, is all. I can tell that you’re feeling him too just by the wayyou blush when he comes around. Your voice even softens when you talk to him.”
“You trippin’!” I laughed. “It does not!”
“Yes, it does!” Dawn laughed.
“Like I said, Kevin and I are just good friends. Maybe once my divorce is over, he and I can discuss where this relationship is going. But for right now, I’m carrying way too much baggage to be thinking about starting something new.”
“Well, you need to stop suga-footing around and get that divorce handled. Justin don’t deserve a minute more of your time. First, he was recovering from hip surgery and now knowing he has HIV is HIS issue. That shit ain’t your concern ‘cause had he done right by you he wouldn’t be in the predicament that he’s in. Wit’ his ol’ nasty ass!” Dawn spat then continued, “As far as you carryin’ too much baggage, hell, from where I’m standing it looks like Kevin ain’t fazed by your baggage. Everybody has some kind of baggage they’re carrying around, sis. If he felt a certain type of way, he would have been hauled ass on your butt a long time ago. He does know about the virus stuff, right?”
“Of course, he knows. I would never keep something like that from him. Whether we dating or not, I have nothing to hide nor reason to lie. You know I shoot straight from the hip, ‘cause that’s how I want people to be with me.”
Dawn was right but what she didn’t understand was that there wasn’t anything that I could do to speed things along with my divorce. No matter what Justin had going on, he and I were done, and I would never ever go back to him. Finding out that he not only was creeping around on the down low with his best friend Tate, but that he was also sleeping with my ex-best friend Shane was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. It was a double whammy that I got hit with at once, and I would never be able to work things out with him after that.
When he and I were together, I had given him chance after chance to get his shit straight. All that hanging out all hours of the night with his so-say friends while neglecting me and my marriage, I continued to forgive him. Now, as I looked back on it all, I appreciate the lesson that I learned from going through all of that. In the future, if I ever get into another relationship with a man that likes to hang out with his friends as much as Justin did, it would be an instant red flag for me. Some things you just have to go through in life to learn and grow from.
But now, unfortunately, my divorce wasn’t final yet because Justin was refusing to sign the papers. After speaking with my lawyer and telling her what my husband did, she was in the process of pushing my divorce through due to the adultery and the fact that he contracted an incurable disease while cheating in our marriage. It was just a waiting game right now, but from what I understand, I don’t need his signature on the divorce papers for the judge to consider granting it. My lawyer had to draw up new paperwork that she would be submitting to the courts very soon. Hopefully, any day now I will be hearing from her with some good news.
I only had two best friends in the world that I could lean on and talk to and that was Dawn and Shane. With me venting and telling probably more than I should have about the foolishness I was putting up with in my relationship with Justin caused Dawn to have a deep-rooted hate for him. Then, catching him cheating with Shane, her hate toward him spiked even more.
Everything that came out of her mouth in reference to Justin was always super negative. Even though she was always speaking facts, and she had been having my back through all the drama, I tried to limit some of my conversations with her about him. It was bad enough that I had lost a husband and best friend at the same damn time right in front of her, I didn’t need to constantly hear her ramble on and on about it.
Dawn was much more hardcore with life than I was. She liked to say that I was gullible and clueless when that wasn’t true at all. I was just the type of person that when I loved, I loved hard, and from what I just learned I loved harder than I should have. It was super easy for a person to judge someone else when they were on the outside looking in. What I found funny about those types of people was that they hid the fact that they had been a fool in love a time or two before but wasted no time judging a person for what they accepted and went through.
Everyone learned life lessons at a different pace. No one was born knowing what to do and what not to do in my opinion. I got offended sometimes when I felt like Dawn was being a little more judgmental than necessary. If my memory served me correctly, she’d been through something similar way back when.
She used to date a guy named Zoe back when she was in high school and throughout college. He wound up breaking her heart which is the reason why she was the hardcore, loveless woman that she had become today. But back when they were dating, she put up with quite a bit from him. So, when she came at me about Justin, it just made me feel as though I had just sat back and allowed him to do me wrong. It was almost like she kept insinuating that I was naïve. However, I did my best not to turn the conversation back on her and bring up all the shit she put up with Zoe’s triflin’ ass. I loved and respected my sister more than life itself, so the last thing I wanted was to ever get into an argument with her over simple shit that didn’t matter anymore.
I was a true hopeless romantic at heart, just not the complete fool that she thought I was. I liked for people to think that I was clueless, when the real deal was, I liked to play my cards close to my chest. I put up with so much from those that I loved because once I was done with them, there would be no turning back. Which was where things were between me, Justin, and Shaneright now. As bad as I felt about Shane having HIV, he was going to have to deal with it on his own.
The fact that he had exposed me to the virus when his disloyalty led him to sleep with my husband was something that our friendship would never be able to recover from. Had he not done that, being the friend that I was to him, I would have made it a point to be there for him every step of the way, but that was not an option now.
As for me and Kevin, he and I were becoming closer and closer friends. I would think that most men would run from the type of baggage that I was carrying, but not him. After Justin and I got married and things started to go bad after I found the condom in his pocket, Kevin was there for me. He had even paid for me to stay in a hotel room for a few days just so that I could clear my head. Then when I moved out of the house that me and Justin had shared, Kevin not only helped me move my stuff out, but he insisted that I store my stuff in his basement and garage while I looked for another place to stay.
He didn’t want me to have to pay for a storage locker while having to deal with all that was going on, especially with trying to save money, so that I could move into my own place since I was staying with my sister.
Dawn was right about the fact that Kevin and I were attracted to one another. He tended to show his feelings for me more than I showed mine for him. With Kevin and I working together and knowing each other for quite some time, the attraction was very much real and had always been there. I just wanted to rid myself of Justin and this marriage stuff first before jumping into another relationship. I at least owed that to Kevin and thankfully he understood and respected that.
He was most definitely a diamond in the rough because when I told him about the whole HIV thing, he still stood by my side. He never judged me or the situation that I had gotten myself intoand allowed for me to vent while consistently offering his help. I couldn’t thank him enough for all that he had been doing.
