“He called you Emily.”
She nods and even lets go with a small chuckle.“Oh, the man knows my name.He’ll never forget it, not after everything that happened.”
I don’t say a word.I’m a little disturbed by the change in her voice and the way her hackles are up, but I don’t want to influence the way she tells her own story.
I’m beginning to think that if she doesn’t get it all out, it’ll destroy her.
“He only came to my room twice, and only once did he succeed in taking what he wanted from me.”
My heart drops to my feet.
She looks up at the sky and shakes her head, then looks out at the land.“I was very lucky compared to some of the kids in that house.”
The way her voice trails off, I think she’s speaking more to herself than me.
I picture the hideous face of J.R.Perkins, and I’m not even talking about the scar.He had a smarmy look in his one good eye.A sinister snarl on his twisted lip.He was right in front of me, and I let him go.I should have thrown his ass out of the plane.No, I should have torn him apart with my bare hands andthenthrown his ass out of the plane.
But I make sure that none of this shows on my face.I keep it blank and let her keep talking.
When Emma catches my eye, she juts out her chin, steeling herself for whatever she’s about to tell me.
“Here’s the part where you hate me.”
“I won’t.I couldn’t.”
“You’ll never want to be with me again.You won’t trust me around Jasmine.”
Okay—that sends a jolt of alarm through me.I hide it.“That will never happen.”
She looks down at her feet for a long time.I hold my breath.It’s all I can do not to kiss her, hold her, tell her she doesn’t need to continue because it’s just too painful to have to relive.
But I know this is what she must do.She deserves happiness, and she has to believe she can have it.To get there, she has to let this go.
All of it.
“I almost fell for it, Finn.That first night, he said nice things to me.Sweet things.Things no one had ever told me before and what I’d been starving to hear.I told myself it wasn’t so bad.I’d lost my virginity at thirteen, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know what was happening.I didn’t fight back, Finn.There was part of me that welcomed it.”
She checks on me.I nod, encouraging her to go on.This was the first volley.She wanted to see if I’d reject her.I won’t.
But thirteen?Oh, no.
“After it was over and he left my room, I vomited everywhere.I lay in bed all night sobbing, hating myself, but not anywhere near as much as I hatedhim.And as I lay there staring at the ceiling, I made a promise to myself that wouldneverhappen a second time, no matter what I had to do.”
I should have bashed his head against the carry-on compartment.I should have strangled him with the seatbelt.“What happened on that second night, Emma?”
She looks down at her hands briefly before she locks eyes with me.
“I sliced his face off.”
She spits out the words like they’re poison, like they don’t belong on her tongue.
I don’t react.I remain stone-faced, though my heart is hammering and my palms are sweating.
Holy fuck.
And she’s not done.
Emma tells me everything, sparing no detail.The twisted piece of metal she ripped from the ironing board.The hiding under the bed.The blood.The screaming.Trying to clean herself with snow.Her arrest and the juvenile charges that were eventually dropped.How the rapist never faced justice.How she went out and got herself emancipated and has been taking care of herself ever since.
