The loneliness.The backbreaking, low-paying work.That last night at the truck stop.
I stare at her.
Inside this small woman is more courage and resilience than I’ve seen in even the hardest-assed of Navy SEAL hard-asses.Emma Clark is a straight-up warrior.A survivor.
I think back to the skinny, frightened girl who poked her head into the wedding tent.I can’t even imagine the weight of what she carried that evening.The desperation.No wonder she could barely sit up.
She lets go with a gut-wrenching sob and jumps from my lap.I don’t let her go.I spin her around just as her legs give out.I catch her and drop to my knees, then hold her as tight as I can as she wails into my chest.
I have never heard such horrific howls of sadness come out from one person’s body.
That’s when I realize that there are two people crying.
We stay like this a long time.I’m not sure if I’m rocking her or if it’s the other way around, but we’re gently swaying, hanging on to one another for dear life.
Her sobs finally subside into barely audible whimpers.
When I can finally speak, the first thing I say is, “You were a child.”
I pause a moment to pull myself together.“You were a lonely, abandoned child, and he is a sick fuck who should be in prison.You were nothing more than an innocent child, in need of care and attention, fighting for your life.Innocent.Child.”
She raises her head from my chest and blinks.“But… wait, are you crying, Finn?”
I nod.“My sweet Emma, look at me when I tell you this.”I cradle her face in my hands and wait for her huge eyes to settle on mine.“You have endured the absolute worst a human being can suffer through, and you’re still here.You’ve been abandoned and preyed upon by monsters, and you’re still here.But not only are you here, you’ve managed to stay good.Decent.Loving.You are a miracle.”
She shakes her head and tries to look away.“I’m damaged.And I’m a criminal.”
“No!”I’m about ready to jump out of my skin.I’m not even sure what I’m going to say to her next.I’m flailing.I have no plan.I have no fucking idea if what I say will help or hurt her.But all I can do is speak from my heart—whatever pieces of it are left anyway—so that’s what I do.
But first, I drop a soft kiss on her lips as my hands continue to gently cup her face.Then I straighten and look her in the eye.“I didn’t think it possible, Emma, but I love you even more than I did an hour ago.The woman I see right now—the woman I love—is an angel.A miracle.The absolute best thing that haseverhappened to me.”
She nods.I think she’s starting to believe me.
“I’m aware of how lucky I am—all I’ve ever known is love and safety.We all deserve it, and we’ll do whatever we must to get it and keep it.It’s what makes our hearts beat, our lungs expand for air.”
She sniffs.
“You’ve been starving for those things all your life, and I’m telling you, those days are over.You’re here now, with me and Jasmine and everyone else here at Yosemite Ranch, and you will never want for love and safety again.The only thing you may lack going forward is peace and quiet.”
She laughs.Emma just laughed!
I drop my palms from her face and reach for both her hands.These hands are precious to me, delicate but strong, soft but capable.I have no idea how I got so lucky.
“You, my beautiful Emma, are my angel.Not a victim or a criminal but a goddess.”
Her eyes are intense and focused on mine.She’s sizing me up.I will never fail her again.
“You don’t hate me, then?”Her voice is so soft I can barely hear her question.
“I love you.”
“You’ll be able to get past this?You’re not disgusted by me?”
“I’m already past it, and I’ll walk by your side through whatever hardship you face, whether it’s something from your past or something that comes in the future.All I have is desire, love, and gratitude for you.Now come here.”
I rise and reach for her, pulling her into my lap as I return to a chair.
She looks down on me, only forgiveness and love in her expression.She strokes the side of my face and lets her fingers trail down my neck.I close my eyes at the achingly perfect sensation of her touch.
