I guess it’s too late.It has to happen.It will definitely fall apart if I don’t.There’s no longer any point in delaying it.
“I’ll tell you,” I say.“And after I do, you and I will be over.You’ll want nothing to do with me, ever again.”
CHAPTER 79
Finn
I call ahead to ask Summer if she’ll keep Jasmine a little longer, and tell her to forget about the last week of school entirely.They never do anything the last week except pass the time, and Jasmine is going to have private lessons this summer for her dyslexia.
Another day with Summer will thrill her, and it will give Emma and me time to regroup from whatever J.R.Perkins’s appearance has done to her.
The house is empty when Emma and I return, and word must have gotten out, because the ranch is quieter than I’ve ever seen it.It’s like the waters have parted and we’ve been given safe passage into the house without having to make chitchat or answer questions.
My family is giving us the gift of time.I only hope it’ll be enough for Emma to do what needs to be done.
After I park the car in the garage, Emma allows me to hold her hand while we walk inside.The house smells of Emma—her cleaning supplies and the vanilla candles she likes to burn and the food she likes to cook.This is Emma’s house, and it has been since the day she walked in.
We move through the living room and head out to the back.Emma’s favorite part of the house is the pool area, and I think that’s the best bet to get her to return to herself, to slough off whatever’s eating away at her.
And to tell me what it is so I can fix it.Help her.Protect her.
We go to the small bistro table by the pool’s waterfall, and Emma slides onto my lap, propping both of her arms on my shoulders.She closes her eyes a moment, and her lips turn up in a half smile.
“I love the cottage in Catalina,” she says.“I love your boat.But there’s nothing like Yosemite Ranch.Nothing like this house.”
“And the pool.When the pool contractor made me the most outlandish plans for a resort-style pool, I told him to double the size.”
“And double the outlandishness.”
“Go big or go home.That’s the MacLaine family motto.”
Her eyes fill with tears.
“Oh, Emma.”I gather her to me, cradling her in my arms.I’d do anything to save her from pain, but I know from experience that looking pain square in the eye is the only way through it.
“I don’t want to lose you, Finn.”
“That’ll never happen.Never.This thing between us is too strong.You can’t outrun destiny, Emma.You’re my destiny, and I’m yours.”
“You say that because you don’t know everything about me.”
She drops her arms from my shoulders, leans against my chest, and cries softly.I kiss her hair and breathe her in as I wrap my arms gently around her.
“You don’t know everything about me, either,” I whisper.“That’s our mission—to learn and to love.We have a lifetime to discover each other.”
“But you don’t know what’s at the core of me.”
She pushes away from me and sits up.Her eyes are bloodshot, and her face is wild with despair and determination.
“My parents gave me up when I was an infant,” she begins.“At least I think I was an infant.I don’t remember evernotbeing abandoned, so I assume I was a baby.I don’t know why I wasn’t adopted, but I never was.I went from home to home.You know all this already.”
I do.
“But you don’t know about the last home I was sent to.”Anger has hardened her eyes.I’ve never seen her like this.“The Perkins house.”
She hisses the words.Her voice is full of so much loathing that it sends a shockwave through me.
“I’m not used to saying that name out loud or even in my mind.I’ve worked hard to block it out, and I was successful, until he opened his mouth on the plane.”
