That makes me laugh.
“There has to be a story behind what happened when you were little.”Phyllis releases me from her embrace and holds me steady in front of her.
I shake my head, not following her.
“Your people, honey.”She gently touches her fingertip to my heart.“Your blood, your family story.I’m going to find out what it is.Finn is such a whiz that he could get into the CIA’s computers if he wanted.It would take him a few minutes to discover who your parents are.Orwere.”
Phyllis pauses, and her face droops.
“What good would that do?”
“I bet you that there’s information out there that will change the way you view your own story.That youcanbe loved and that youwere,and that somehow, things got all messed up.You’ve been through a lot, Emma.I can see it, the pain you’re in.Maybe if we start at the very beginning, you can start to heal.”
I stare at Phyllis in wonder.She’s such a kind-hearted woman.She’s been warmer to me and more dependable than any person I’ve ever known.But I can’t imagine what difference additional information would make to me now.“It’s a nice thought.But let’s say I finally get into those records and discover why my parents abandoned me.How’s that going to help me find peace?”
Phyllis gives me another hug.“In my experience, the worst possible pain is not knowing.But that’s just me.”She pats my back and stands.“Auntie Phyllis is on the job.If I find something, I’ll let you know, and it can be your choice if you want to look at it.”
I nod.I doubt she’ll find anything.I’ve been looking since I was sixteen.But if it makes her happy to try, that’s fine.“Thank you,” I say.
“Now, I have a quick errand to run, but stay here.When I come back, I’ll make sure the house is cleared out for the rest of the day, and you and I can have a quiet evening.Hot cocoa with brandy in it.Or maybe brandy with hot cocoa in it.”
She leans in and touches my chin, lifting it.She smiles down at me.“It’ll work out, honey.It always does, even if it takes us a little bit to see the whole picture.You have a right to be as sad and angry as you want, but there’s always a way to see things differently.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I’m shocked to see Phyliss’s full of tears, too.For just an instant, she reminds me of someone outside the context of Yosemite Ranch.But I can’t figure it out.
“Don’t go anywhere.I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
CHAPTER 72
Finn
I return to the house after a fifteen-mile run over the meadow, up the mountain, and back.I’m drenched in sweat, and I take a long drink from the hose at the front of the house.I tried to run out my frustration, but it’s no use.
I’m about to go out for another run when Aunt Phyllis comes up to the porch.
“Hey there, Aunt Phyllis.”
She takes two steps toward me, rears back her hand, and hits me upside my head.
I stand very still, staring at her.“What the hell?”
“Did I hurt you?”
“It takes a lot more than that to hurt me, but it was sort of a—”
She hits me again, this time a lot harder.
I touch my head.“That’s going to leave a mark.”
“Go inside, boy.I have something to say to you.”
“Aunt Phyliss, you’re scaring me.”
She turns me around and pushes me toward the door.“Good.That’s a start.”
Once we’re inside, she orders me to take a seat in the living room’s leather armchair.I’ve never seen her like this.With my father?Okay, sure.But never with me or my brothers.
“What’s going on?I need to take a shower.”
