“Relax. It’s my go-to.”
“What do they do for you?” I sit next to her on the bed, snagging my medicine bottles from where she dropped them on the comforter.
“They quiet my mind,” she utters, her eyes focused on something I can’t see.
If I can relate to anything, it’s wanting to shut my brain up. Some days it screams so loud, I feel like I’ll crumble under the weight. I don’t like how Ella’s going about getting relief, but I get it. We all need that peace sometimes.
“Just… be careful. I’d hate to see you get hurt.”
She smiles appreciatively, stashing her bag of pills back into her purse.
We hang out in my room for a little while longer, me keeping an eye on her, watching for any changes in her behavior. Other than her pupils being blown and her eyes looking a little glassy, you’d never know she’d taken anything.
“Ella, sweetheart, it’s time to go,” Mrs. Amy calls up the stairs.
We head down to find everyone except Hadley hugging and shaking hands to say goodbye.
“There you kids are,” Dad says, pulling Mom into his side. “Y’all have a good night?”
Everyone’s staring like they’re expecting us to confess something. Well, there are secrets, but not ones I’ll share.
“We had a great time! Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Daniels.” Ella is bubbly, business as usual, as she walks over and hugs my parents, and I do the same with hers.
“Hudson, you’re so handsome. I know all the girls are lining up for you.” Mrs. Amy clings to my biceps, smiling like she’s waiting for me to deliver some charming answer.
“I guess. I would just rather concentrate on school.” The lie slips out easily.
Mr. Isaac, Ella’s Dad, chimes in. “That scholarship of yours is nailed up tight. I think you should let loose a little. Senior year’s almost over, after all.”
“He’s right, love,” Mom jumps in. “You’ve worked so hard, and your dad and I are so proud of you, but you should be going out with girls and having fun.”
How the hell did I end up being the center of this conversation? I’m uncomfortable, and I don’t know how else to explain my disinterest in the opposite sex, not without coming out. And now isdefinitelynot the time for that.
There is only one person I want opening that door, and it sure as hell is not a girl.
“I have fun,” I declare lamely, itching with everyone staring at me.
“Why don’t you and Ella go out sometime? You two have been friends your entire lives. It would be easy, and I know you two would have fun together.” Mrs. Amy nudges Ella closer to me.
Ella beams at me, her brown eyes twinkling.
What the fuck is going on right now?
My mouth goes dry.
Fuck. Say no, Hudson. Say. No.
“Um, s-sure,” I stutter out.
Idiot. Absolute, fucking idiot. What happened to saying no? My innate need not to rock the boat is really screwing me over right now.
“Wonderful! You two kids should go sometime this week,” Mom suggests, her smile wide. I shoot her a glare, but she doesn't see it. She’s too busy celebrating with Mrs. Amy.
Ella walks over and gives me a hug. I return it stiffly, knowing she was set up the same way I was, though she seems a lot happier about it than I am.
“I’m excited, Hudson. Let’s go Thursday! That way we can celebrate the end of midterms.”
She pulls back and looks at me hopefully. I can’t bring myself to tell her I don’t want to go on a date with her at all, so I agree. “Yeah, Thursday works.”
