Am I doing the right thing?
“Dude? So back to friends, just like that?” Cull asks, the words torn and ugly.
I don’t answer.
I don’t want to be friends. I want to behis.
But it’s too hard watching him worry over me. Too hard keeping the cracks in my mind from showing.
It’s all just… too much.
“Ella, will you take me home?” I ask, turning my back on the one thing in my life worth living for.
“Hudson, please, baby, don’t do this.” Cullen reaches for me, fingers brushing my arm, but I pull away before he can really grab hold. My body feels heavy, but I keep walking. I have to. This is for him. He’ll understand that one day.
Ella hurries to catch up, feathering her fingers against mine. I let her take my hand, but it’s not the one I want to be holding.
“Hudson!”
I make the mistake of looking back. Cullen stands there, chest heaving, his face twisted in anguish.
It guts me. This isn’t what I want.
But life doesn’t care what we want.
It hands us mirages. False visions of hope, just enough to keep us going.
Then they vanish into smoke.
***
Cullen
I watch in heartbroken silence as Hudson gets into Ella’s car and drives away. My chest seizes, and I can’t get any air into my lungs.
“It’s over…” I rasp, the words dissolving into the night.
I rub my chest, trying to ease the pain where my heart used to be. I’ve never felt anything more unbearable.
My knees buckle, and the hard park bench catches my weight. I touch the spot where Hudson was sitting, wishing it still held his warmth.
It was all over his face that this isn’t what he wants. It’s what he thinks is best, and I can’t accept that.
But what if Ella was right?
My stomach churns. What if letting him go really is what he needs?
I call bullshit.
He thinks this is what’s best? Fine. I’ll give him tonight, maybe tomorrow. After that, I’m getting him back, and nothing will stop me.
With stubborn determination, I get back into my truck and head home.
The hurt still sits heavy in my bones. He wants an escape, but he doesn’t realize that the road he’s walking leads to something worse than what he’s trying to outrun. I need to make him see that he’s worthy of my love. That he’s worth every effort I want to put into making him happy.
But how?
I pull into my driveway and kill the engine. A headache pounds behind my eyes, and all I want is to fall into bed and sleep this night away. But as I sit there, staring at the dark house, something stirs in my chest.
