“Someone you work with? Someone who works here? I need details!”
It occurs to me that Levis is likely just sharing this to take my mind off my problems. That’s okay, though. I’m going to let him distract me.
“Someone I work with,” he says. “I’m not telling you who, so don’t ask for anything identifiable.”
“Why is it a secret?”
“Because we’re just messing around.”
I look at him skeptically. “You’re telling me,you,Levis Li, who has never had a casual relationship in his entire life, isjust messing around? You want me to believe that?”
Levis sighs. “Honestly? I don’t know. Yes? This is unlike anything I’ve done before, Brek. We’re not going on dates. We’re not holding hands or talking all day through texts. We’re seriously just messing around. It’s physical. I don’t know if there’s any emotion involved at all, nor do I think there will be. That’s just… well… unlikely.”
“Why?”
He shakes his head. His sword is laid out across the arms of his chair, and I watch as his finger absently follows the sharp side of the blade while he stares out at nothing.
“I don’t know. Just a feeling, I guess.”
“Is she nice to you? Or is it really just orgasms?”
Levis chuckles. “They’re nice to me. But that’s completely separate.”
“Wow, you’re making this so confusing.”
His smile is vague as he continues to stare at nothing in the distance. After a minute, he sighs. “Tell me your secret now.”
“Oh, you tried to trap me in a quid pro quo! Asshat.”
Levis chuckles.
“I don’t have anything to tell.”
“Liar.”
“What do you want me to say? I’d kind of been hanging out with Voss, but now he needs to take care of his family.” I shrug, turning forward in my seat again. I’m not the best at keeping my expression neutral on the best of days, but if he looks me in the eye, all my damnfeelingsare going to show.
“Brek—”
“It’s fine, Levis. Heshouldtake care of his family. Not that I think there’s even a remote chance that he’ll end up like my parents, but I don’t wish that on anyone. All his attention should be there.”
“Axl is new. Voss is a new father. Not only does he have a brand-new baby who needs attention around the clock, but Voss has no experience with a kid. No matter how much help he has, Axl is still his responsibility.”
“I know. I’m not upset.”
“Remember when Emerson was born? Remember how exhausted Briar was every single time we saw him? He loves Emmy more than anything in the damn world, but he also loves Noaz the same way. It took themmonthsto find a rhythm. It’s only been nine days since Axl came into the world. Be patient with him, Brek.”
I chew the inside of my lip as I think about this. Something in my chest really wants to grasp onto his words. He’s right. I know he’s right. But this nagging voice in my head says Levis isn’t taking one big thing into consideration—Lorissa. The Van Dorens are huge on family. There’s nothing more important to them. Voss isn’t just going to toss Lorissa aside. Especially now that Axl is here.
A son they created together. The family that they just built.
“I might be pansexual,” I say abruptly to force us away from this conversation. I don’t like the twisting feeling in my gut.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I’m aro and ace and probably pan, too. I’m practically a damn rainbow all on my own.”
He chuckles. “How do you feel about that?”
