“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“Yeah,” Jami says. “Me too.”
Before either of us speaks again, Renee bustles down the hallway. She’s dressed in pajamas instead of scrubs, and her fiery red hair is a mess, but I think it’s the last thing she gives a shit about as she throws her arms around Jami and hugs her friend.
“Are you okay?” she demands, looking over Jami like an anxious mother hen. “I can’t believe the asshole has been arrested. Finally.” She does a double take through the window, her eyes resting on Maddy, who still has that dirty bear under one arm as she listens to the psychiatrist speak, nodding when appropriate, but looking terrified. Renee turns back to Jami with a swallow. “How is she?”
“She’s okay. She’s traumatized even more so than she had been, I’m sure,” says Jami. “It’s never-ending, apparently.”
“So what happens with her now?”
“My office will reach out to our contacts to see if they can track down family members that might want to take her in,” says Jami quietly, but she can’t bring herself to look at either of us. “If we can’t find anybody, then she’ll end up in foster care until something more permanent becomes available. If she’s really unlucky, she’ll have to stay at the group home until they can place her with appropriate foster parents.”
“Jesus,” says Renee. She finally looks over at me, and I know we’re thinking the same thing: this isn’t going to be good, not for Jami and not for Madison. As Jami continues to stare at Madison through the window, Renee reaches over and takes my arm, leading me away from the woman I’m absolutely crazy about. Jami doesn’t even notice. Doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t care.
“Is she okay?” Renee asks in hushed tones, her eyes still on Jami. I shake my head and fold my arms with a sigh.
“No, she’s not okay. That little girl means everything to her, and I think she feels like things are about to get worse for her and not better.”
Renee nods, green eyes vivid with oncoming tears. “Would you mind dropping her off at my house after CPS takes Madison?” she asks. “I think a heart-to-heart might help, but it won’t do any good right now.”
“Sure, I’ll do what I can.”
Renee nods at this and then turns her attention to me, reaching out a hand to squeeze my arm. “Thank you for taking care of her,” she says. “Jami has waited a long time for a good man to be there for her, and I think she found it in you. But this will be the real test, Ely, and I need you to stand with her through this until things settle down.”
I’m caught off guard when Renee wraps her arms around my midsection to hug me, but after a second I hug her back, watching Jami over Renee’s shoulder.
“Jami Newman is my second chance to do this thing right,” I tell her. “And I’m not going to let her down. Not now, and not ever.”
34
JAMI
It doesn’t take long for child services to arrive for Madison, and while I’m grateful it’s someone I know and have worked with, it doesn’t make the goodbye any easier between Maddy and me.
“I don’t want to go with her,” whispers Maddy, her eyes on my good friend Jenna Walker, who is hovering by the door, waiting for Madison. “I want to go with you.”
“I know you do, honey, but I’m not allowed to just take you home with me,” I tell her gently, squeezing her in my arms. “There are rules we have to follow.”
“What if I never see you again?” Maddy is crying now, plump tears streaming down her face, and if I thought my heart couldn’t possibly shatter into smaller pieces, I was wrong.
“Of course, you’ll see me again, Maddy. And very soon.” I glance up at Jenna, who is smiling sympathetically by the door. “Jenna is my friend, and you have to go with her now, okay? But you’ll be safe where you’re going. I promise.” I nod at Jenna over Madison’s shoulder, and my friend walks into the room, stepping up next to me to smile down at Maddy.
“Hi, honey,” she says, kneeling on the tile floor. “I know this is scary, but I’m going to need you to come with me now, okay? Can you do that for me?”
It takes Maddy a second, but after a moment she looks away from me and focuses on Jenna, wiping her tear-stained cheeks. She doesn’t nod in agreement necessarily, but she does loosen her grip on me. Outside the patient room, Ely watches us through the window. His mere presence is I think the only thing that’s keeping me from losing it right in front of the innocent six-year-old girl. Ely nods at me, just once, and I loosen my grip on Maddy until Jenna has a hold of her hand and is gently prying her away.
“Soon,” I tell Maddy as she is led out of the room by Jenna. “I’ll see you soon, sweet girl.”
“Don’t leave me, Jami,” Maddy cries, and now she’s fighting against Jenna, who isn’t releasing the grip on her hand. “Don’t let them take me!”
I step out of the room, my feet carrying me numbly toward Maddy, but Ely catches me before I can chase her. He pulls me into his arms and holds me as Madison’s cries echo off the hospital walls around us. I cover my ears with the palm of my hands and sob into the front of Ely’s shirt until long after Jenna has taken Madison away.
“It’s okay,” Ely whispers to me, resting his lips on the top of my head. “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s going to be okay.”
I feel numb like my brain isn’t quite relaying messages to the rest of my body as Ely takes my arm and walks me outside, back to his car. He opens the door for me and I slide in, trembling, silent, unable to think about Madison without welling with tears and devastation.
“Will you take me home,” I say, barely coherent, but Ely shakes his head.
