“I heard your wife begged for mercy just before she was shot dead,” Kasper whispers and his tone is so low that I’m not sure anyone but Ely and I heard him. I’m still trying to fathom the words he’s spoken when the next thing I see is Ely lunging at Kasper, and his fist smashes into the man’s face. Kasper falls back into one of the agent’s arms, blood spurting from his nose, and not a single man or woman in the room steps forward to help him as he writhes on the floor with his hands still cuffed behind him.
“Get him out of here,” Ely says to Agent Hardy, who looks more than pleased to be able to do so. “I don’t want to see this fucker’s face again for a long, long time.”
Kasper is escorted out of the building, and we watch him vanish into the back of a black, sturdy SUV. It’s the best thing I’ve witnessed in months, but I can’t celebrate, not yet, because my mind is still somewhere else entirely.
“Maddy,” I say, turning to Ely. “She’s at his house with the sitter. I need to go be with her.”
“We’re headed that way now, I think,” Officer Katie Mcully, who has witnessed the entire ordeal, says to me. The pain in her eyes is evident, but the first impression I’d had of the woman loving a man like Kasper Hill eases up a bit when our eyes meet. I realize now that she, too, had been under Kasper’s foot for probably even longer than any of the rest of us.
“I’ll come with you.” I turn to give Ely a kiss, caught off guard when he pulls me against his body and holds me there for a moment, a man carved of steel, but only on the outside. This has rattled him, I can tell. It’s rattled all of us, and it’s still not over
“Go,” Ely says in my ear. “She needs you now.”
I don’t wait a second more than necessary, and in less than two minutes I’m in my car following the flashing lights of Katie’s police car as she leads me to Kasper’s house. It doesn’t take long for us to get there, and Katie pulls the confused babysitter aside to explain what has happened as I slip past them to go look for Madison. As I climb the stairs to the second floor, too frightened and rattled to call her name, a horrible feeling washes over me. What if it’s too late? What if Kasper has already killed his daughter?
It’s a ridiculous thought, of course, as I’d just witnessed the man being arrested in the precinct, but I’m strangely relieved nonetheless when I find Madison upstairs in her bedroom, cross-legged on her bed, picking at the fabric on her comforter.
“Hi, Maddy.” I knock lightly and push the door open, pinning a smile to my face that I can only hope is reassuring instead of unnerving.
“Jami!” Madison cries, and her eyes light up with such joy that I almost begin to cry. She jumps off her bed, abandoning the ragged bear on her blanket, and rushes into me, her tiny body molding against my own. “What are you doing here?” she asks. “Will Daddy be mad?”
“Let’s sit on your bed and have a talk,” I tell her gently, taking one of her hands in mine. “I have something to tell you, and it might be scary.”
Madison’s eyes widen in what I can only assume is fear, but she nods and allows me to lead her back to the bed, where we sit down together, and I squeeze her hand.
“Your daddy is going to be away for a while,” I tell her, reaching out to push a strand of blonde hair behind the little girl’s ear. “He got into some trouble, Maddy, and will be going away for some time. We don’t know how long yet, but things are going to change for you, and some of the changes might be scary.”
“Is daddy okay?” Maddy asks, and my love for the child only grows. After everything she’s seen, everything she’s experienced, she still has love and compassion for the man who killed her mother but is still her father.
“He’s as okay as he’s ever going to be,” I tell her, and Maddy falls into me and begins to cry.
“Is he the one who hurt Mommy?” she asks, and for a brief moment I almost consider lying to her, just to put her at ease, but I can’t do it, not to Maddy. She’s too smart, and I think she already knows.
“Yes, baby,” I say gently. “But he’s not going to be able to hurt anyone ever again, including you, okay? It’s going to be okay, sweetheart.” I hold Madison against me as the little girl cries, her wet, warm tears staining the front of my shirt with years and years of fear, trauma, and helplessness. All I can do is hold her, rock her, shush her as she cries, and almost ten minutes pass in muffled silence before Madison speaks again.
“You won’t leave me, will you?” she asks, her voice catching on a sob. A shard of ice that feels like hot iron pierces my heart, and I have to compose myself before I speak again.
“There’s a lot we have to figure out right now, Maddy,” I say softly. “So for just a little bit, you’ll be living somewhere with other children, okay? It’s called a group home, and it’s only temporary until we figure out something more permanent.”
Madison pulls back, red cheeks stained with wet tears, nose running. “Why can’t I live with you?”
The shard of ice in my heart expands, and it takes everything I have in me not to collapse to my knees in front of her and beg for forgiveness.
“The system is complicated,” I whisper. “But I’m going to do everything I can possibly do to make sure you stay safe and taken care of, okay?”
33
ELY
After giving the FBI my account of how we came across the hard drive holding evidence against Kasper, I leave at once to meet Jami at the hospital, where Madison has been admitted for a physical check and a psychiatric evaluation due to the stressful conditions she’s been living in. When I arrive, she’s standing outside the hospital room, peering in through the window with her arms folded, eyes on the little girl and the woman psychiatrist sitting in the room across from her.
“She’s telling them everything,” Jami says quietly. “The abuse allegations against Tara, the threats she heard … all of it, everything she knows that Kasper didn’t hide from her.”
“Jesus.” I reach over and take Jami’s hand in mine and kiss her knuckles. She’s trembling, but the shaking eases as I bring her closer to me.
“What happens now?” I ask. “With Maddy, I mean.”
“Foster care,” Jami says, and the sadness in her voice is overwhelming. Painful. I squeeze her hand, but it’s not returned, and I know there’s nothing I can say at this moment to make things better. “She’ll probably be bounced from house to house, through the system, until either Kasper is released, or she’s adopted. Could be months. Could be years.”
