I felt naked now without her against me. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. “I promise I’m not usually that mean.”
She rubbed my hand, and I hooked her pinky with mine.
She met my eye, her expression so vulnerable. “You’ve never—not once in my entire life—been mean to me.” She traced a vein on my other hand. “That’s why it hurt so much when you ghosted me.” I wished I could take back her hurt. Thing was, I’d done what I had to survive.
Her hair fell, covering the left side of her face. “I miss her so much,” she whispered. “I don’t know how to do this without her.”
I already knew she was talking about Sophie.
I tucked her hair behind her ear. “Have a baby?”
She shook her head, then corrected with a nod. “Any of it. All of it. She helped me bale hay every year after my dad died. Billy wouldn’t take the time off. We were like the Sheroes of the Fields.
It was insane to me that Billy didn’t care that Clem was out in the heat busting her butt with Sophie. I didn’t know how it was possible to hate him even more, but I did.
“Dad and I will get your hay up this year, okay? And I can come back next summer and do it again if you need me to.That’s the great thing about being an educator. Lots of time off in the summer.”
She nodded, then sniffed and twisted her lips, looking into my eyes. “Having you here has been like getting part of her back.”
Well, dang.
For a second, I’d thought we were having a moment. Of course this was about Sophie. I couldn’t blame her. I missed my sister something fierce, too. So I just said, “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She held out her hand for a shake. “Friends?”
I stared at her, scouring her perfect cheekbones, the delicate freckles, her lips, and those eyes that told you exactly what she was thinking. Friends was the last thing I wanted to be.
I shook. “Yeah. Friends.”
She dropped my hand and looked around, like she’d heard a noise. “Listen.”
I strained my ears for a moment. “I don’t hear anything.”
She nodded, grinning. “Exactly.”
I laughed and rubbed a hand over my face. We’d had a knock-down-drag-out argument in the hall right by Anna’s door and she’d slept through the whole thing.
That dog was magic.
“Shoot. The pregnancy test.” Clem hopped up and raced down the hall.
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I was so in over my head here. There was no way I could keep walking this tightrope. I was going to fall off. It was just a matter of time, and I didn’t know where I would land. But I had to be there for Clem. With Sophie gone, she needed me. And if I was honest, I needed her and Anna too. I made a decision right then—for the rest of my stay, I would be completely present. Then when this was over, I’d go back to Wyoming knowing I’d given it my all. But that meant making some changes withChristy. No more holing up in my room all evening. No more constantly texting Christy, trying to appease her.
And no more holding Clem at arm’s length. No more shutting her out. No more ignoring her feelings. I’d caused major damage while I was gone, and it was going to take this entire summer to repair that.
I’d been a fool to think I could give Christy my whole heart right now. Not with the promise I’d made to Sophie. Not with Anna needing me. And definitely not while I was sleeping across the hall from the woman who’d always held my broken, trembling heart in her hands.
fifteen
CLEMENTINE
The test was positive. Shocker.
The bigger surprise was Silas losing his crap on me. It was agonizing, revealing, and wildly exhilarating, all rolled into one.
He hated Billy? I mean, Sophie had, though she bottled it up as much as possible for my sake. But Silas had never acted like he cared one way or the other. The fact that he’d left after high school because of me only added to my list of regrets. Marrying Billy had hurt way more people than just me.
But the biggest thunderbolt of the evening had been that moment on the couch.
