The hollow dread pooling in my stomach ratchets up, quickly turning into an anxious nausea. I knock again.
“Riley,” I rasp, the onslaught of tears clogging my throat. “Baby,pleaseopen the door. Talk to me?—”
The door gently swings open, and I’m greeted with a solemn-faced Riley. He doesn’t move to let me into his room, and alarm bells start ringing in my head.
Now that I’m standing here in the dark hallway in nothing but his t-shirt, a chill sweeps over me, but I don’t think it has anything to do with the coolness of the night.
I want to reach out and touch him, but the fresh, stinging wound of rejection keeps my arms firmly wrapped around my middle. I swallow thickly when he just stands there looking at me. It’s so dark, I can’t fully read his expression.
I clear my throat, trying not to sound like a wobbly mess.
“Are you okay? You…weren’t in bed when I woke.”
“I—I couldn’t sleep.” He sighs, looking down at his feet. My brows furrow when I follow his line of sight. His feet…clad in slip-on Vans.
It’s the middle of the night…and he’s wearing shoes. Furthermore, he’s fully dressed in jeans and a hoodie, too. Not at all the t-shirt and boxers he was wearing when he climbed into bed just hours ago.
I look back up at him, but he still won’t meet my eyes.
“Riley?”
“Go back to bed, Coll?—”
“Why are you calling me that?” I snap, anger and frustration coating each word. I’ve never spoken to Riley like this, but right now he’s pissing me off just as much as he’s scaring me.
He flinches at my tone but doesn’t answer. I catch the sad glint in his eyes when he finally glances at me sheepishly, realizing that I’m not going to budge. “What’s going on?”
I’m fucking terrified, and it’s got my fight or flight adrenaline kicking in, so I slap my palm against the door without thought and shove it hard, causing Riley to stumble back over his own feet.
“Collins, wait—” he says as I storm into his room and come to an abrupt halt when I look at his bed.
“What…what the fuck is this?” I ask, even though it’s clear as day, even in the dark.
An overstuffed duffel bag sits at the end of his bed, along with a backpack filled with toiletries, judging by the brand new toothbrush sticking out of the side pocket.
My entire body ices over as I stare at the truth that’s been quite literally laid out before me. I can feel my stomach bottoming out, and my heart begins to splinter, tiny hairline fractures cracking that had been forming over the last several days as they weave their way around the aching muscle in my chest.
Turning to look at Riley on numb legs, I will my lips to speak when Riley just stands silently before me. “You’re leaving.”
The words may as well have been a gunshot in this empty room with the way he flinches when I say them.
He remains silent, and it has me saying louder, “Aren’t you?”
Riley’s throat bobs as he swallows thickly. Guilt oozes off of him so thick I can physically feel it wrap around me.
“Yes.” One word. One fucking word and it feels like a knife has been stabbed into my lungs.
“Why?” I rasp, unable to breathe.
“Ihaveto.”
I shake my head, tears gathering in my eyes as I take a step forward.Towardhim. “Not good enough. Why?”
I ignore the pain that sears through me when he takes a step back. “Collins, I have to?—”
“Why?”Another step forward.
“Please.” Another step back.
