His distance is wearing on her, and I have this fucking nasty feeling that it’s all about to come to a head. There’s not a snowball's chance in hell that either of us are going to let him slipaway, so I’m bracing myself for which one of us will be the one to snap him out of it.
Chapter 35
Collins
“JUST LET ME GO.”
ONE WEEK LATER
Iwake with a jolt, a horrible sense that something is wrong washing over me. Creed stirs next to me, his hand flexing on my hip.
“You okay?” he whispers into the dark, concern woven into his sleepy voice.
I reach over and stroke my fingers through his silky strands at the same time my other hand searches for Riley. My heart rate kicks up when my fingers meet empty, cooling sheets. Looking around Creed’s room, I note that the bathroom light isn’t on, and I don’t see him sitting on any of Creed’s scattered lounge furniture around the room, either.
“Do you know where Riley went?” I ask in a hushed tone, trying to mask the rising panic.
He gives my thigh a reassuring squeeze when I shift up in bed. “He probably just needed a snack,” he mumbles into his pillow. “He’ll be back, but you can hunt him down if it’ll help you feel better, baby.”
Another reason why I love Creed. Without even realizing it or trying, he always calms my nerves, while also never invalidating my need to find or be near him or Riley.
“Okay.” I bend down and kiss his sleepy lips. “I’ll go find him. You can go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Never apologize for that.” He kisses me once, then adjusts his sleep position so that he’s lying on his stomach, his inked arms hugging his pillow before he says, “I’ve got you.”
I leave him to drift off again and pad silently down the hallway, tiptoeing past Asher and Blair’s room, to head down the stairs. The living room is illuminated by moonlight, and unease seeps into my bones when I note that the kitchen light isn’t on.
“Riley?” I whisper into the vast room, but I don’t get an answer.
Chills spread across my skin as I peek into the kitchen just to be sure he’s not eating in the dark. Empty.
I check the studio. Empty.
The guest bathroom. Empty.
I finally get to his bedroom at the end of the hall. It’s dark, but I hear shuffling on the other side of the door. I knock softly before pressing my palms to the wood. “Ri?”
The shuffling stops.
The sound of a zipper closing catches my attention, and my brows knit in confusion.
“Ri, are you in there?” I ask but berate myself because who else would it be?Smart, Collins.
I’m surprised when he doesn’t open the door but quietly says, “You should go back to bed, Collins.”
What did he just call me?
“Riley, what’s going on? Are you okay?” I’m trying to sound calm, but panic is slowly starting to take hold of every part of me.
He’s grown increasingly distant ever since we encountered his mother. That space between us has become more vast sincethe night he woke from a nightmare, and no matter how many times I’ve tried to reassure him that he wouldneverhurt me, the canyon between us has only seemed to widen further with time.
The fading bruise on my cheek was my own fault. Truly. Riley was having an intense nightmare about the night we were taken, and I had tried to wake him without thinking. I was acting on fear and adrenaline, the need to make it better was stronger than my logic. His body had lashed out while he was still asleep, and his elbow caught my face before I could back away. It sent me sprawling, but to be honest, it didn’t hurt. More like it surprised me, because Iknewthat he didn’t know I was there.
Riley would never harm a fly, let alone me or Creed, and the look of pure horror that took over his deep brown eyes when he finally woke said it all.
I told him it wasn’t his fault, but I could tell it started to eat him alive. My efforts have been fruitless because he’s pushed himself away from me even more so than before. Even in bed, while he lies with me, he’s been painfully careful not to touch me. The rejections were soft and subtle, but they were there and fucking stung nonetheless.
I’d given in and gave him the space, too, because my therapist said that it’s completely natural for victims of such trauma to want to work through their hardships on their own, so long as they were doing so in a safe manner.
