“Tell me!”
“I h-hurt you,” he gasps, taking another step. His back hits the wall.
“You didn’t.” I step up to Riley, our bodies a hairsbreadth apart, but I don’t dare to touch him. Not yet.
His eyes fall to my cheek, as if he can see the bruise in the dark of his room. “I already have.”
I pause, thinking over my next words because there’s no way in hell I’m letting him leave me without a fight. A stray tear rolls down my cheek at the exact moment one traces the gentle outer slope of Riley’s nose.
“Is that why you’ve pushed me away?” I cry, shuffling impossibly closer to Riley. I look up into his soulful, sorrow-filled eyes, knowing there are more reasons, but what happened the other night felt like the nail in the coffin.
“I’m leaving becauseshewas right,” he grits through clenched teeth before a tortured sob rips loose from his chest. His shoulders shake with each shuddering cry.
His mother’s words echo in my mind.
“You really are a disease, Riley. I see all the damage you’ve caused that girl plain as day.” Her words spat at him with pure venom. “You hurt. You destroy. You break, ruin, and sully all that is good.” she sneered, her lip curling in disgust. “You’re pathetic, and soon they’ll realize that I was right. Best to get out of their lives now before you ruin yet another family.”
I could’ve killed her that day for the way she spoke to Riley. Chaos had erupted in my mind, and before I could form another rational thought, I was moving, and I didn’t stop until I felt the sting of my hand coming in contact with her face. I’m not a violent person, but I would’ve done it again and again had Bear not hauled me away when he did.
It didn’t feel anywhere near enough because the look of utter devastation in Riley’s eyes had cleaved my heart clean in two. How couldanybodylook at Riley,mysweet Riley Benjamin, and not immediately fall in love with him? The fact that such a selfless, kind, tender-hearted man came from the world's most vile scum is a fucking marvel.
My eyes flood with tears, flowing freely in never-ending rivulets down my face. Crying makes speaking even more difficult than before, but I ball my fists at my sides and force thewords out so he can hear them. “She was wrong,” I gasp, sucking in much-needed air. “Sofucking wrong, Ri.”
Another sob bursts past his lips as he vehemently shakes his head, swiping the sleeve of his hoodie across his mouth.
“Riley, youhaveto know she was wrong,” I hiccup, ducking down to try and meet his eyes, silently begging him to see my truth. Theonlytruth there is when it comes to him. “My life—our lives—are so fucking beautiful, so perfect, becauseyouare a part of it.”
Riley’s eyes squeeze shut, and he sucks in a deep, shuddering inhale.
“To know you is a privilege, Ri,” I tell him through the tears, and follow him when he starts to pace in front of his bed, his fingers laced behind his head.
My heart drops low into my gut when he swipes his bags from the end of the bed, throwing them over his shoulder as he ducks around me and walks toward the door.
He’s lost in his own mind right now. That’s all. Right? It has to be. They never let me doubt myself, and I’m not about to give up on him. I follow hot on his heels, swiping angrily at the tears that blur my vision.
“To know you is to love you,” I say to his back, but he keeps going, rushing toward the front door like he can’t get away from me fast enough.
My heart is beating so fast and so hard that I fear I may faint from the amount of adrenaline pumping through my system right now, but I have to get to him. Get into his mind and bring him back to me.
I watch as he reaches for the front door and flips each lock, but the moment he pulls the door open, I’m right there, slamming it shut and pinning him in place. He's still facing away from me, but I hold his hoodie in a death grip and press my forehead to his spine.
“To love you? To be loved by you?Thatis the greatest gift,” I whisper into the fabric and snake my arms around his torso, finally allowing myself to touch him. “You’re everything and more, Riley,” I repeat his words that he whispered to me what feels like a lifetime ago. “But you don’t need to wait a thousand lifetimes for me to love you back. Because I love you now. I love you always, and I’ll love you in every lifetime that follows this one because you. Are. Mine.”
I’m not even sure he can fully understand my words, given how choked I am right now, butGod,I hope he can feel that I meant every word.
Riley was meant to be loved wholly and deeply, and that’s what I’ve done. What I’ll continue to do from now until forever.
I squeeze him, burrowing myself impossibly closer and deeper into him as I beg, “Stay, baby. Please.”
His whole body is shaking while he cries silently, his forehead plastered to the cool glass of the front door. His hands find mine, and he holds me there, firm yet gentle, as he’s always done.
“Please,Snow,” he sobs, somewhere in the midst of our tears, he whispers, almost imperceptibly, “just let me go?—”
Snow…there he is. I found you, baby.
“No.”I maneuver my way around him, never letting go but wedging myself between his body and the door so that I can see his beautiful face in the moonlight.His dark, soulful eyes are nearly obsidian as they glisten with tears, and I reach up, cupping his face between my palms. Swiping the tears with my thumbs, I give him a watery smile. “Or,” I start, pushing up on my toes and pulling him down to press my forehead to his, meeting him in the middle, “take me with you.”
My fingers tangle in the hair at the crown of his head and pull, tugging at the curly strands. In a rush, I press my lips to his, kissing him hard and fast. I can feel his tears soaking my face ashe slowly melts into me, but I couldn’t care less. He’s still crying, but he’s kissing me back like it’s the last time he’ll ever have the opportunity.
