So he stopped to buy vegetables and freshbread for dinner, then hurried home, wondering if Lucas would bethere already.Mark had given him his spare key a few days ago, andLucas had taken it with only a little hesitation.“I can becareful,” he’d said seriously.“I’ll make sure nobody sees meletting myself in.And if I have it I can wait for you inside,instead of out where people can see me.”He’d shruggedself-consciously.“But I guess you’d already thought of that.”
“I hadn’t thought of anything but wanting tomake it as easy as possible for you to spend time here,” Mark hadreplied.It was the truth.He knew he had to be discrete about therelationship, but he didn’t really think about that side of things.He wanted Lucas.Everything else would have to take care ofitself.
So he opened the door to his apartmenthalf-expecting to find Lucas inside, lounging on the couch orrummaging in the fridge.The day before Mark had come home to findLucas in the shower, and that had been a very happy, albeit wet,homecoming.
But this day he opened the door to an emptyapartment.He laughed at himself for being disappointed, then putthe groceries away.Then he took the vegetables out and startedchopping up a salad.Nine different vegetables this time—prettygood.He put the finished salad back in the fridge, tidied up, andstared at the door, willing it to open.
He wasn’t worried.It was barely six o’clock.But it was wasted time, and time was something they had so littleof.Mark didn’t get to fall asleep next to his lover, didn’t get towake up with him and squabble over breakfast.He had less than fourhours a day of private enjoyment, and he didn’t want any of it tobe wasted.
When the buzzer sounded just before sixthirty he almost sprinted across the room.“Hello!”
“Hey, it’s me.”Lucas sounded tired.
“Come up.”Mark tried to control hisenthusiasm.If Lucas was recovering from a bad day, he didn’t needMark bouncing all over him like an untrained puppy.Or maybe hedid…puppies could cheer anyone up, couldn’t they?
Mark took the salad out of the fridge, thenpulled the door open and waited in the doorway, and Lucas smiledwhen he saw him.“Hey.”He eased inside the door before leaninginto Mark’s waiting body, and the kiss was definitely worth waitingfor.But Lucas pulled away sooner than Mark would have liked andwandered across the apartment to stare out the newly replacedkitchen window.
“You okay?”He tried to guess what might haveLucas upset.“Did you hear about Sean?Is he okay?”
“I haven’t heard anything new.I’m stillsupposed to go down tomorrow, so I guess I’ll know more after I seehim.”Lucas glanced back at Mark, then returned to looking out thewindow.“I’m okay.I just need to talk to you about something.”
“Over dinner?”
“Maybe before?Then I can enjoy themeal.”
“Okay.You want to sit down?”
“Probably not,” Lucas said with a wry grin.“Probably, I want to pace.”
“You’re starting to freak me out alittle.”
“No, it’s not a big deal.Just awkward, Iguess.”Lucas sighed, then reached over and snagged a slice oftomato out of the salad bowl.He chewed while Mark found a spot onthe stool beside the counter.“Yeah,” Lucas said.“So, I went tosee that lawyer this afternoon after work.The guy you called.He’sletting me do a payment plan.”
“Not pro bono?”
“I don’t want to do that.I’ll pay him.”
Of course he would.Lucas was working hard tobe independent and he wouldn’t want to take something he saw ascharity.“Okay.What did he say?”
“He said I’m probably okay for the parolehearing.He said the cops aren’t going to press charges for thefight, and Darren, my parole officer?He’s made a good report,saying nice things.I guess he talked to Elise and Father Groban.So it looks pretty good.”
“So why aren’t you looking happier?”
Lucas took a deep breath.“Well, there’s onepossible problem.And the thing is…I want you to not get involved.I want you to not try to fix it.You’ll want to, and maybe…maybeyou could.Or maybe you’d just make it worse, I don’t know.But Iwant you to not try.”
“Lucas, I have no idea what you’re talkingabout.”
“Yeah,” Lucas said unhappily.He turned andlooked out the window again.“Your mom,” he finally said.“Sheheard about the hearing, and she wants to talk to the judge.Mylawyer’s going to try to keep her out of it.He says she hasn’t gotanything relevant to say—she spoke at the original sentencing, butthere’s nothing new for her to add and I’m not getting in troublefor the original thing right now, I’m in trouble for somethingdifferent.So he can probably keep her from talking.”
Mark tried to sort through it all in hishead.How had his mother gotten involved?Why hadn’t she saidanything to him about it?
Lucas saw his frown and spoke more quickly.“So like I said, I want you to stay out it.It’s probably fine.Andif it isn’t…” He looked miserable now, but he said, “If it isn’t,I’ll take the heat.I mean…I did it.The first thing…your brother…Idid that.And maybe your mom’s right—maybe I didn’t serve enoughtime for it.”He looked at Mark quickly and said, “I don’t wantthat to be true.I want to stay out here and be with you and…yeah.I want all of that.But I don’t want to hide behind you, and Idon’t want you to mess things up between you and your mom,especially not when your dad’s still so sick.And I don’t want…” Hefrowned as he searched for the words.“I don’t want this to be yourproblem.You got me the lawyer, and I appreciate that—I think he’sreally good.I think he’s going to do a good job, and he’ll takecare of things and everything will be fine.And if they aren’t, andI have to go back, then I have to go back.I can handle it.”
“Wait a second.Just…wait.”Mark tried tomarshal his thoughts.“How does my mother even know about thehearing?What does she know about—”
“Us?I mean…this?”Lucas waved a hand in agesture that encompassed himself, Mark, and the apartment.“Nothing, I don’t think.She knows I was out past curfew and got ina fight.I don’t think she knows the rest of it.”
“So I can at least clarify that much forher!”Mark stood and shifted his weight.Apparently he was the onewho was going to be pacing.“I can tell her you rescued me!”
