"You are not the pity fuck," he swore. "You are a gorgeous man. You're adorable when you do the grumpy thing." He shifted again, until his legs touched mine under the blankets. "Hold my hand in public, Cy. Kiss me when you want to, and I swear I will not push you away. The more you do it, the easier it will be for me. I just feel like this is still..." He ducked his head and groaned. "I don't know, a dream? My own fantasy? A joke, and I'm about to be the brunt of it? I spent so many hours thinking about you, and I never even told Violet that. I watched you fucking graduate! I had a fake account and tracked you on Facebook - and you sucked at posting, by the way."
I laughed, because I really did. "A guy I was dating made me start an account. I hated it. Never used it after we broke up."
He nodded. "Yeah, your Twitter was a little more exciting, but always business. Retweets of articles and new theories for problem kids."
"Kids like us," I pointed out. "Ash, don't let me fuck this up?"
"Never," he promised. "This is more like sneaking around the cabins when we were kids. You and me? We're partners in crime, and I'm rooting for you. If you need a cover, just tell me. If you need a kiss, then take one. I'm not ashamed of you. I'm just so scared that I'm going to push too far or say something and you'll be gone again." His fingers trailed the edge of my beard. "I can't lose you again."
"I can't live without you," I admitted, leaning in. "You were my first love. The one that got away, and the boy who taught me what it meant to be completely and totally happy. I never thought you'd feel the same way about me. Not a guy as gorgeous as you - but you kept making me think I had a chance."
"I didn't understand what was happening," he whispered. "You were cool. You were tough and knew what was going on around here. We had fun, and I laughed when I was with you, and then I'd lie in my bunk and think about seeing you again in the morning, and it confused me. When you kissed me?" His eyes jumped up to find mine, shining in the darkness. "I was so scared. That wasn't me, but I wanted it to be me, and I didn't know what it meant. I still have this vision in my mind of you standing in the doorway, grabbing the top and leaning into it while talking about something. One split second in life, and it's burned into my brain. I spent thirteen years replaying it. Every detail, from the scuff on your shoes to the damned hole in your shirt. The dust on your jeans and the way that pose pushed your dick forward while flexing every muscle in your body."
"I don't remember that," I admitted.
His hand found my hip and he pulled, guiding me closer. "I do, and that's all that matters. It was the second week I was here, and I'm pretty sure it's when I fell in love with you."
I followed his hand, lifting up to lean over him. "I expected you to be delicate."
"Mm, you were so wrong," Ash breathed, opening his legs in an invitation. "I expected you to be big, brutish, and dumb."
"Only when you're around," I promised.
And then I kissed him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ash lifted up, meeting my mouth halfway. His tongue was right there, demanding, and his fingers dug into my skin. I felt his hand slide around to my ass, so I shifted over his leg. Skin to skin, our bodies pressed together as our mouths tangled, but he wasn't trying to take charge.
There was something softer about his touch this time. Something almost vulnerable. My lips moved to the side of his throat, but my hands couldn't wander while I held my weight off him. Instead, I leaned my hips in, grinding my hardness against his belly. Ash sucked in a breath, throwing his head back, and just took it.
I could feel him, right there, just as hard as me. When I thrust against his body again, he matched it, sliding his dick against the side of mine. There was nothing soft about this man, and I loved it. Feeling him melt beneath me like this had my heart racing, and my breath was coming just a bit faster. My hand moved down to his side, lifting him into me, and I did it one more time, loving the feel of our bodies together.
Then Ash pressed at my shoulder, gently asking me to back off. I did, looking down at his face in confusion, but he kept going. Without a word, he guided me onto my back, turning to follow and slipping lower. Oh, so that was what he wanted? I shoved at the blankets, pushing them all to the foot of the bed as this gorgeous man settled between my legs, taking his time about running his hands up my thighs. His eyes were locked on my achingly hard dick.
"I need this," he taunted just as his hand wrapped around the base.
I bit back a moan. "I am not stopping you."
Ash leaned in, licking me from my balls to the tip like I was a fucking lollipop. "How many mouths have had this?" he asked.
"Fuck, I dunno." And I didn't want to think about that right now.
But the asshole stopped. "How many, Cy?"
"Twenty? Maybe?" It was a wild guess. I hadn't exactly counted.
He swirled his tongue around my tip. "How many times did you imagine they were me?"
"More than half," I breathed. "The rest I thought of Vi."
His lips curled into a smile a split second before he pushed his mouth over me. Lying like this, I could see his ass flex as he leaned in. I could feel the heat of his mouth and the way his tongue moved around me, making me slick. His fingers tightened against the base of my dick, tilting me down for a better angle, and I loved it all.
This was my man. He wrapped his mouth around me as if he was taking instead of giving. He sucked my length like he was getting himself off, yet he didn't reach down to play with his own dick. This man was completely focused on my hard-on, and I couldn't look away. His lips stretched. His hand didn't move, needing only his mouth to make me feel so good, and he took his time about it.
He savored me.
Unable to help myself, I reached down to cup his face, needing him to look at me. The most beautiful man in the world, and he was mine. Notallmine, but stillmine. When he lifted his eyes, my heart flipped, and I had to fight not to thrust into him. Fuck, but I wanted to be deeper. I wanted to take him, but he was taking me. All of me, not just my body.
