"I love you," I whispered as his mouth slid back down.
Tingles rushed up my spine, and it felt so fucking good. If I could keep from focusing on how that felt, I could enjoy this a little longer, but those eyes? This wasn't about my body. It wasn't just a moment of passion. That was a promise, and as he began to move faster, working me a little harder, I understood.
This was us. Wild and intense or slow and loving, it didn't matter. He was my first love, my heart's desire, and my greatest weakness. My eyes longed to close. My balls were so tight and ready to explode, but I never wanted this to end. And then he slid his hand up my length and my mind completely shorted out.
Ash gripped me just a little too tight, like a reminder that I was his toy for the moment. He licked me again while his hand pumped over the head of my dick, then his mouth was back, sliding down as far as he could go. My dick reached the back of his mouth, and for a second, he paused. Another push and he took just a little more.
All I could do was grip the back of his head. "Babe, I don't need a deep-throat," I promised, because I wasn't sure I could take it. I wanted the moment to last. I wanted to enjoy him just a little longer, and that felt so good. "Your hand's about to make me lose it," I admitted.
So he pumped his fist across me again. My fucking toes were curling, but when his lips slid over the head, giving me up, I pulled him back down. Ash didn't resist, and this time he sucked back even more. I felt when he swallowed. His shoulders shifted, and my dick pushed into his throat.
Hot. Tight. Mine.
That was more than I could fucking take. Ignoring it or not, the pressure was too much. The feel of this man taking me that far? I came undone. My fingers shoved into his hair and my body lost control, the release coming so hard and so unexpected that it was all I could do. My dick throbbed and I groaned, struggling to keep it quiet. I failed.
Then Ash slid back, releasing me completely. "Don't need a deep-throat?" he teased. "But as soon as I get you that deep, you lose it."
I just smiled, wallowing in my bliss. "I was trying to make it last."
He crawled higher, pausing to kiss my belly before dropping onto his stomach beside me. "I was trying to make you feel good." His little smirk was too sexy. "I do like that look on you."
I turned my head to look at him. "Enjoying my afterglow?" I asked, checking his meaning.
Ash shook his head. "In love." His smile turned sweeter, almost nervous. "With me."
I rolled toward him, kissing his shoulder. "Yeah. And I know you're bad at saying it, Ash. I still hear it, even if that's just because of what youdo."
My lips moved lower, following the muscles of his back. He moaned softly, pressing into my touch, and my dick began to stir again. I couldn't help myself; my hand moved to caress the fullness of his ass. I knew he was still hard. That was why he had his dick pressed into the bed, hoping for a little relief. When I grabbed a handful of that muscle, gripping it hard, his forehead dropped to the pillow and his hips pushed, grinding himself into the mattress.
"Keep doing that and I'm going to forget that you prefer to top," I whispered against his skin.
"Oh, I'll let you fuck me," Ash said, lifting his ass into my hand.
I paused, looking up. "You sure?"
"Kinda want you to."
Yeah, that was all I needed. Letting him go, I flopped back to reach for my drawer. That was where I kept the lube, and I was not about to hurt my man. Violet had made it clear that Ash had control issues. Mostly trust issues. He'd fuck men, but he didn't let many fuck him. I knew of two. One he'd told her about and Luke. There could be more, and I wouldn't ask, but he wanted me to do this. Not just let me. He fuckingwantedme like that.
Once I had the bottle in my hand, I was back. A dollop went on my fingers, then I dropped the bottle beside him as I rolled onto my knees, but it was his back I wanted. I kissed the spot between his shoulders, working higher. He tilted his head, so I pressed in to kiss his neck. My chest slid against his back, and my half-hard dick was crushed against the back of his thigh.
"I'm not going to fuck you," I whispered against his ear. "I'm going to make love to you, Magenta."
The sound that fell from his lips was almost a whimper, but it was too masculine to truly count. I knew he wouldn't beg, but his body was soft beneath me. Relaxed. I kissed the side of his face and he turned into it. The back of his neck, and he lifted up, seeking the contact. I could hear him breathing just a little too hard, but for the first time since I'd known him, Ash was letting me take control.
My hand moved to his ass, following the curve right at his crack. "You look good when you surrender. I'm hard again."
His teeth found his lip and he glanced back. "Me too."
So I let my slick hand move lower until I cupped his balls. "You like it hard or soft, babe?"
"No," he panted, trying to ignore what my hand was doing to him. "I like you. I just want you, Cy."
Goddamn. He didn't have to say he loved me. He did it in other ways, just like that. He cut right to the chase and said what mattered most, what hit me the fucking hardest - and that was it. He didn't want me because of what I could do for him. He just wantedme.
My hand moved down to his shaft, coating him with what was left of the lube on my fingers. Yeah, he was hard and throbbing. His hips twitched, pushing his length into my hand, but I wouldn't make it that easy. I took my time, kissing his spine as I let my fingers explore.
I knew this man's body in the dark. I had memorized every flat plane and hard line. I knew his scars, his imperfections, and all the beauty he wore like armor. I knew his body better than I knew my own, and still I took my time, learning just how he wanted me to touch him. What he sounded like when it was just right. The way he fought back his moans, refusing to do anything that might make it sound like he was begging.
