“We’ve spent enough time apart. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
Xander looks at me, unsure of what to do.
“Stay with me.”
“Charlotte—”
I put my finger over his mouth. “There are no guarantees you will or won’t have dreams. And it could be forever for all we know. You said we would get off the roller coaster together. This is part of our together.”
He takes a deep breath, nervously looking at me, grappling with what to do.
“I’ll handle it if it happens.”
“You shouldn’t have to handle it.”
“Stop. Stay.” I straddle him and lean in and kiss him, knowing it might happen but telling myself I will have to toughen up and deal with it if it does. I love him, and I want my life to be with him, so if that means we have to deal with his past, then we will.
And I convince myself everything will be okay and that it’s just flashbacks and not to let anything bother me, but sometimes things are easier played out in our minds than in reality.
I wake up,and the darkness is trying to turn into light. Xander isn’t next to me. I throw his T-shirt on and walk out to the living area. He’s sitting in an armless chair, staring, with an expression on his face I haven’t seen before. Tearstains are on his cheeks, and he looks like he’s seen a ghost. A blanket is wrapped around his shoulders.
“Xander?” I softly say, brushing my hand on his cheek.
He slowly looks up at me.
“What’s wrong?”
It’s as if it takes him a minute to register who I am? Or maybe that I’m here?
A chill runs through me, and I panic. Did his memory go backward, and he doesn’t know me again?
“Xander?” I repeat.
His face changes, and he snaps out of whatever trance he was in.
“Charlotte.” His voice holds a hint of surprise in it.
“You okay?”
Nodding slowly, he says, “Yeah.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. Everything is fine.” He forces a smile and pulls me into his lap. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes. Did you sleep?”
“On and off.”
“Xander, what is going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
He lets out a big breath. “Okay.”
I stroke his cheek. “Tell me what happened.”
