“I’ve been having some intense flashbacks for the last few hours.”
“About Billie?” I do my best to keep it factual with no emotion in it, trying not to cringe.
He shakes his head, blinking back tears.
“What then?”
“Nathan. The first patient I ever lost on the surgery table.”
I kiss his forehead. “Nathan was Noah’s brother who passed, right?”
He nods.
“Is this the first time you remembered these incidents.”
His voice is hoarse. “Yes.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” he whispers.
I pull his head into my chest. “Okay. You don’t have to.”
His arms wrap around me, and one hand slides under my T-shirt while he looks up and crushes hislips into mine.
I straddle him so I can get as close as possible, trying to show him that any love I have in me I’ll give him. I consume his lips, as my knees dig into the sides of his hips, my naked sex against his hardening manhood.
“It seems like it’s happening now,” he murmurs. His voice is painful and raw, and my heart bleeds for him.
It’s a cruel twist from the universe that Xander has to experience grief and pain more than once, and I wish I could take it away from him.
“I’m sorry. What can I do?” I hold him tighter, wanting to change for him what I can’t.
“Make me forget. Even if it’s just for now.” Pain and tears fill his eyes.
I cup his face and kiss him, pouring every ounce of love and desire I have for him into it.
He grabs my hips and slides me over his erection, entering me in one fluid motion.
I sink onto his girth, quivering and gasping as my body accepts him.
“I want to be the man I used to be for you,” he murmurs.
“You are.”
“I’m not,” he insists.
“We’re both different, but the same. It’s okay.”
“You don’t deserve this.”
“Shh. Don’t talk like that.” I pull his T-shirt off me. “I want to belong to you. Exactly as you are.”
He buries his face in my breasts, licking me, sucking me, owning me.
“Xander,” I breath, puckering in his mouth, circling on his cock as he groans.
“You’re sunshine,” he murmurs and hungrily grasps my head and parts my lips with his tongue, darting in and out of my mouth then yanks my hair back and sucks on my neck.
