I can’t help but smile as I remember the one time I looked out and saw that Tanner had unraveled the toilet paper roll and was wrapping Emily’s bouncer with it. As soon as that thought hits, I remember the aftermath. Evan came home and wanted to know what had happened. Instead of finding it funny like I did, he got angry. He said that we were wasteful. Then he took his anger out on my body.
No. No. No.I can’t think about it.
I push the memory into a box in the back of my mind.
Once I’m clean, I quickly dry off and get dressed. I run a brush through my hair before I put it up in a clip to keep it outof the way while I cook. Leaving the bathroom, I head down the hall. As I look around the living room, panic starts to build.
“Tanner,” I say to my son as he sits on the couch, engrossed in a TV show.
“Yeah?” he says without looking away from the TV.
“Where is your sister?” I ask, trying to keep the panic at bay.
“She said she was going to her room,” he says, turning to look at me.
I just passed her room. She wasn’t in there.
Without a second thought, I take off toward the kitchen. The back door is wide open. I hear Tanner behind me, but I turn and point a finger at him.
“You stay in the house.”
He nods, looking guilty.
“Emily!” I yell as I step through the back door.
The yard is empty, making fear take hold of me.
Oh god. Did he find us? Did he take her? Did someone else grab her? Do the neighbors have pools? Could she have fallen in? Oh god, she doesn’t know how to swim.
“Emily!” I scream again.
“Jane,” a man barks, making me flinch.
I look over and see Mac standing between our yards. Instead of looking angry, he looks concerned.
“You with me?” he asks.
“Emily. I need to find Emily.” I sob.
“She’s over here with me,” he says, pointing over his shoulder.
I rush toward him and breeze past him without asking for permission to cross onto his property. As soon as my eyes land on my daughter, I gasp, feeling like I can finally breathe for the first time since I realized she wasn’t inside.
“Emily, what are you doing out here? You know you aren’t supposed to go outside alone,” I scold her as I kneel in front of her.
She’s sitting in a camping chair next to the grill.
“Mac was out here, and I wanted to talk to him,” she tells me as she swings her legs back and forth without a care in the world.
“New rule, you can’t go outside without talking to me first, okay? It’s not safe to wander off by yourself.” I hug her to me.
Emily giggles. “Mommy, I was safe. I was with Mac.”
Mac. Right. He saw my freakout.
I look over at him even though I’m feeling completely mortified. “I’m so sorry she bothered you.”
His eyes soften, and he rocks back on his heels with his hands in his pockets. “You have nothing to apologize for. You were scared.”
