My voice sounded sharp when I spat,“What do you want, Zack?”
“Tell me what last night was all about.”
“I need to askyouthat.”
Leaning on the table, he said, “I’m not the one getting married today.”
“No, but youhaveclaimed to be the groom’s best friend.”
“I’myourfriend, too.”
“I’m starting to doubt that. In fact, I think you need to leave. All you’re doing is upsetting me, and I need to focus on being calm and happy.”
“You’re missing the point, Dani.” When he stood, he walked over to me, but I didn’t take a step back. “If you really love Braden, why were you in my bed last night?”
Hisbed? Had he forgotten that I hadn’t been the one to run to him?
“It was a last hurrah, Zack—so I hope you enjoyed it. It’ll never happen again.”
He took another step closer. “How can you be so sure?”
With false certainty, I said, “Because I said so. You and me? We’re done. This is it.”
Without warning, Zack touched my cheek with the back of his fingers, the ones withRIOTtattooed on the knuckles, and I closed my eyes, wishing everything would just disappear…because I couldn’t take last night back.
“I don’t believe that. Not for a second.”
I forced my eyes open. I needed to get him out of here, because I was questioning everything. “I don’t give a shit what you believe.”
His face softened then, making a subtle shift from Rock Star Zack to the real deal. And, suddenly, I was afraid to hear what he was going to say.
“I…care about Braden too. I want to make sure this is what you want, because I don’t want you to hurt him.”
“Ha. You’re a little late for that. If you hadn’t wanted to hurt him, you shouldn’t have fucked me last night.” Oh…my voice sounded harsher to my ears than I wanted it to be.
“Dani…” He looked down at the floor for a few seconds, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Was last night a mistake?” he asked, making eye contact with me again. “I don’t know. Maybe. But I didn’t come here to ask you to choose me over Braden, and I don’t want you thinking last nightwasa mistake. I…left this morning before you woke up on purpose. If you want to marry Braden, that’s what I want for you. I’m not going to stand in the way. I just want you to be sure—becausebothof you deserve that.”
Just like last night, it felt as if I were trying to stand up straight in the middle of an earthquake, because the ground underneath me wasn’t solid. I’d believed Zack hadn’t changed, that he’d selfishly taken from me one last time…but these words didn’t quite jibe with that assessment.
This man here…he was a new version of Zack—and I wasn’t sure how to wrap my mind around it.
Had he really changed?
He wasn’t asking to have me…he was asking for nothing more than honesty. And then, as if he’d read my mind, he underscored my internal state: “I told you last night I’m not going to lie anymore.”
But that was something I couldn’t do—because I was still lying to myself.
CHAPTER 29
Almost an hour later, I was flying down Highway 285 with no destination in mind other than getting away. Talking with Zack had given me clarity. It wasn’t that I wanted Zack but I knew, as much as I loved Braden, that I wasn’t the one for him. He deserved someone who loved him with every molecule in her being and with the intensity of a thousand suns.
I didn’t. And, for once in my fucking life, I needed to figure out what the hell Ididwant.
In a way that didn’t involve a man.
The problem—I started puzzling out as I drove south, surrounded by mountains—was that I’d never given myself a chance to figure that out. I’d pined over Zack for as long as I could remember, from the time my hormones had announced their presence…and, honestly, I’d continued doing that for a good part of the time I’d been with Braden. And, while with Braden, I’d accepted that he offered me a good life.
But what had I offered him?
