As the makeupand hair woman made me look as beautiful as any Disney princess might on her wedding day, my mind continued to gnaw at me restlessly. My mother and grandma were in and out of my dressing room, helping to distract me on occasion. Roxy appeared once but had to rush back to Dean’s side before we’d had a chance to talk.
And then I was all alone.
I stared at myself in the full-length mirror, shocked at howdifferent I looked…and I wondered if my guilt from last night appeared on my face. As I continued staring at my reflection, I tried to block out everything that had happened over the past twenty-four hours. From Braden’s arms to Zack’s, and my heart still didn’t know what it wanted.
If I went through with this marriage…I’d have to, at some point, tell Braden what had happened last night. He deserved as much. But I was confronting a fact that I’d known all along: as much as Iwantedto love Braden, and as much as hedeservedmy love, the roots of whatever romantic feelings I had for him didn’t go as deep as they should have.
Then there was Zack. That man had broken my heart more times than I wanted to admit, and still I kept coming back for more. Like an addict needing just one more fix, last night I’d fallen into his arms as if I’d forgotten our entire history. And why?
I knew with every fiber of my being that there was no future with him. He could tell me he’d changed, but he was a leopard and his spots would always be there in the same place. I couldn’t blame him anymore, because Iknewwho he was. All the heartbreak now was on me.
So I stood in front of the mirror like a statue assessing myself. I definitely looked the part of the fresh-faced bride, but there was no joy on my face. Instead, I swore I could see guilt and shame in my expression almost as if someone had painted a redAon my dress. And my eyes had a weird haunted look, and I couldn’t figure out how to hide it, other than praying the veil could take care of it. Of course, I felt guilty about cheating on Braden, but there was so much more stirring in my heart.
If I didn’t love that man like he deserved, marrying him would be worse than not—especially for him.
A sharp rap on the door shocked me out of my contemplation,causing me to jump. If my mom and grandma kept showing up, how long would I be able to hide my feelings? Somehow, I’d managed to make them believe everything was okay. Could I keep putting on Oscar-winning performances? “Come in.”
Roxy returned, looking gorgeous with her black-and-purple hair loosely piled on her head, having been vicariously enjoying the whole affair. She was usually good at reading me, so I hoped it would be easy enough to keep her from the truth. She asked, “Are you ready, Dani?”
“Yep.”
“Don’t you look beautiful?”
My stomach lurched. My outside might have appeared striking, but it hid a very ugly inside.
If Roxy and my family couldn’t see it, then Braden probably wouldn’t be able to tell either. She and I made a little small talk with me trying to avoid anything that would give my mind away.
And I felt a tiny touch of relief.
She hadn’t figured out that I’d been with Zack the night before.
Finally, she said, “Well, I’ll see you out there. I have to get my bouquet and then,” she paused, sighing, “go wait with Dean.” But she forced a grin, and I knew it was because she was probably counting the minutes before she could kick that man to the curb. I was surprised he hadn’t sent a text message during the few minutes she’d been with me.
Maybe he had.
At least my friend knew what she wanted.
As she whisked out of the room, she said, “Next time I talk to you, you’ll be a missus!”
I had to fight against losing the contents of my stomach—several cups of coffee and some water. I’d had the foresight toavoid eating, knowing it would all come back up. I wondered if my nerves would have been as fraught if I’d been a normal bride…rather than one who’d cheated on her fiancé.
Goddamn Zachary Ryan. Why had he come to my place last night? He’d said he’d needed a friend… But I knew, after all our history together, that that too was part of a pattern. How many times over the past few years had he led me on and then rejected me? Regardless of what he’d said last night, I knew it was all part of it. Did he get off on that shit? Was it his way of asserting his control over me one last time?
When I heard another knock on the door, my adrenaline spiked.It’s time. I forced myself to smile sweetly, expecting to see my grandfather on the other side, ready to walk me down the aisle.
But it wasn’t my grandfather.
It was Zack, apparently unwilling to let the toxic thing between us die. When I saw his face, I hissed, “What the hell are you doing here?” Did he want the whole fucking world to know what we’d done?
I should have slammed the door, but instead I was frozen. And I hated my treacherous heart for loving how attractive he looked in a tux.
“Five minutes, Dani. That’s all I want.”
“It’s time for me to walk down the aisle. You’re too late.”
“Bullshit. We have time.Threeminutes.”
Again, I knew I should slam the door in his face, but had I ever grown the balls to say no to this man? When I closed the door, I turned around slowly, wishing this would all just end.
