“Jasper!” Dawn was thrilled, too much so.
“Dawn. Hello Koda.”
Nope. I couldn’t do it.
His voice was just the same as always. Soft, warm, welcoming and understanding. My heart lurched in my chest, like it wanted to jump out and find its home. My thoughts screamed a million things all at once at me. To run away, to run towards him and throw myself at him, boner be damned. To stay right where I stood.
“Welcome to the neighborhood,” Dawn smiled, handing over the plate of treats as I slowly stepped backwards.
I wasn’t doing this again.
I couldn’t.
“Koda?” Jasper’s voice only made me turn, walking as quickly as I could away. I shook my head, not caring how rude I was being. I didn’t care that Dawn called after me, too.
I hated fate. I hated Jasper. And I wasn’t going to stay living next door to the man that broke my heart any longer.
I had money that hadn’t ever been touched. I would buy a house clear across town and never come over here again.
I somehow didn’t stomp through the house and to my room, thinking of where I could start. The sooner, the better. Dawn would help, surely. She’d have to understand.
At least with being on meds, my tears didn’t fall as easily as I flopped on the bed. I wanted to scream. Instead, I huffed, sitting up and pulling out one of the journals, scribbling down a note to Dawn.
I barely finished writing it before she was in my doorway, a look of confusion on her face.
It’s time for me to find my own place. I can’t live with him there. Please help. I wrote, my words were sloppy.
Dawn took a moment to respond. “Okay.”
Okay? That was it?
“I know now more than ever. Something happened between the two of you. If you aren’t comfortable living here with him so close, then I’ll help you find a place. You have more than enough money to buy a home or condo, or whatever you want.”
I nodded once.
“Just, could you maybe hear him out? Let him explain some things before you make such a rash decision?”
Nope. He had his chance. It was past time I moved on, even if my heart would forever be next door.
I shook my head.
“Alright.” There was no pushing me to change my thoughts. There were no requirements. Just a simple question and I answered.
***
I wanted to think I was doing a good job ignoring Jasper. I didn’t look over at his house unless I was walking in that direction, or driving that way. And each time, he was outside, shirtless, hair down to his shoulders as he fiddled with things around the yard.
Sure, the yard had gone through two years of no maintenance, and the outside of the house needed paint, but did he really have to be out every single time I happened to be going out, myself?
He’d wave, smile, and act like he hadn’t just broken my heart for two freaking years. He acted as though we were still friends, friendly with one another.
We weren’t. We were nothing but strangers. And all it did was put all my effort into finding somewhere else to live.
A full week, and Dawn had taken me to a couple of places throughout the days, but none of them felt like home. They’d all work, but I couldn’t see myself being happy in any of them.
Not the loft that overlooked a garden in the center of town.
Not the tiny house that was clear on the other side of town, that had fields for miles. It had a tiny porch.
