Truthfully, I was never mentally stable. But I didn’t think that was worth saying.
“Sounds like you know what you’re doing,” Dr. Shaw seemed pleased about that fact. “Koda is still keeping his regular appointment for later this week, but he’s free to go.”
Jasper thanked her before pulling away long enough to stand up, taking ahold of my hand and making sure I knew he was there. I kept my eyes down, letting him lead me back to the car. The stuffed animal stayed in my hold, even as he opened the car door, letting me in first. He waited to close it until I was buckled, and rounded to his side.
“Breakfast.”
I yawned in response, more than ready to go take a nap.
“Tell me if I overstep at any point. Use those colors, or sign them if need be. I’m going to keep following my gut on what to do.”
I nodded, twisting the bear’s ear between my fingers. As long as he kept talking, maybe all the thoughts that wanted to crash over me would stay floating around and not hit me face first.
“We’ll wait for the paint colors. Maybe this afternoon, if you’re up to it. Or later this week. I have the next two weeks off, and I plan to spend as much of that time hanging out with you as you’ll let me.”
He fell into silence after that until we reached a fast-food restaurant. Through thedrive-through, Jasper ordered us both breakfast before paying and then headed back towards home.
I couldn’t stop yawning, but I wasn’t sure if that was better than crying for no reason.
I knew part of the reason was the sleeping pill, but it had done its job. I hadn’t woken up during the night. I hadn’t even woken up when Jasper left me, fast asleep, in my bed at some point. I only woke up when he came to pick me up, bed head and all.
Looking at him as opened the door to his house, I took a moment to admire the tattoos again. His arms were bare, and I couldn’t stop my fingers from tracing lightly along some of the lines.
Jasper jerked, muttering something about my touch tickling, before pulling me inside the house.
“I don’t have a table right now, and the kitchen is torn apart, so the living room to eat our food.”
It was a mess. Plastic covered the floor in places. Half painted walls in some spots. The kitchen was empty, no cupboards or counters. Not even boxes.
When did all this happen? I hadn’t seen people come and go, and there wasn’t a mess outside.
“When Grams passed away, she was determined to let me have the house. It was inthe will and everything. And I had the rights to it. The papers were already in my name, even. Grams thought of everything,” Jasper explained, pulling me down beside him on the couch and began to dig out the food. “Yet, my parents are dicks and fought against it all. Took me to court and everything. They didn’t win, but they still tried to put the house on the market. Thankfully, it didn’t sell or I’d have lost something all over again.”
He handed me a muffin, still warm and soft and smelling delicious.
“My brother didn’t care, which wasn’t surprising. He’s off to college now, which is where I was for two years. Kind of. I was staying in the town he was going to, to make sure my parents didn’t try to pull more crap on him. Of course, he’s the golden child and all that. Anyways,” he took a long deep breath, then told me to eat. “While they decided to put up the house for sale, they also took everything out. Which isn’t a big deal. But by doing so, they destroyed some walls and piping. Which I had to fix. Now, since some of the walls were either damaged or down already, I’m opening the space up down here.”
I managed to eat half the muffin before passing it back to him, and then, because I could, I laid my head down on his leg, my own stretched out along the couch. The bear still clutched to my chest, as if it were a part of me.
“I have tons of work to do, and two weeks isn’t going to be nearly enough time off work to get even half of it done. But I want this house to be a place you feel safe and welcome in. I want to see you using my kitchen to cook your treats. A place to make new, better and happy memories. Not with just me, but with Asher and Noah. And maybe other friends.”
How could he see that far into the future? Why had so much hope for something that probably wouldn’t happen?
“But to make this place a space you’ll want to keep coming back to, I’d like your input.”
“Why?” I turned to lay on my back, looking up at him as he finished his own muffin. Or maybe it was my part. I wasn’t sure.
“I told you; I’m staying. I want to be a part of your life. I want you in my life, in any way I can have you. Friends. More? I want you to want to be here with me.”
More?
He couldn’t mean what I thought, did he?
I blinked, confused. He once said that he didn’t want me that way. He made it pretty clear too. Plus, I didn’t think I could have a relationship like Noah and Beckett and Asher did.
It was hard enough to get past friends with less than twenty-four hours of finally breaking down.
“First, one day at a time.” He ran a finger down the side of my face. “Everything else can wait for however long it takes. Heck, maybe I ruined my chances because I was a dick. Maybe all I should hope for is friends.”
