“Maybe it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it.” Walking determinedly toward Xavi, Lulu stopped right in front of him, placing his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. Leaning into his touch, Xavi sighed, and it was evident there was a war going on inside him. Eventually, he looked up, his gaze connecting with Lulu’s, nothing but raw vulnerability and blind trust staring back at him.
“What happens now?” Xavi said, his voice shaking, and something nearly broke inside Lulu, as the love he felt for this beautiful man reached a whole new level. Was Xavi leaving it up to him, putting all his trust in Lulu? He was, wasn’t he?
Chapter Thirteen
Xavi
Asurprised gasp escaped Lulu’s lips as disbelief moved through his eyes. Xavi had no idea how they’d ended up here, but if he was being honest, he’d reached the end of his rope, unwilling to go back even if he could. This conversation was long overdue.
Lulu licked his lips, then moved to stand between Xavi’s thighs. His hands moved to Xavi’s neck, tilting his head, their gazes colliding, as Lulu’s almond eyes bored into his, leaving him feeling naked and exposed. Fuck, that kiss. He wanted to do it again. And again. He wanted to kiss Lulu until he lost all sensation in his lips, until Lulu’s taste exploded on his tongue, erasing all other tastes. Until there was only Lulu all around him, inside him, engulfing him.
Lulu’s thumbs brushed against his jawline, an unprecedented tenderness in his eyes. “As I see it, we can go on pretending we aren’t more than just friends, and that there isn’t something between us that’s been building over the years, or we can open our eyes and be honest.”
Honest.Shit, Lulu had no idea what he was asking. Did he really want Xavi’s honesty? Was he even ready for it? Would he ever be? Was he ready to hear about Xavi’s obsession with him? How every waking hour, minute, second was consumed by thoughts of Lulu and how Xavi, even in his sleep, rarely got a reprieve from longing, lusting after his best friend? How he woke up panting, sweat beading off his chest, his spent cock in hand, cum splayed across his abdomen with Lulu’s name, the name he’d given him but had never spoken out loud, on his lips.Cisne.
“Open our eyes,” Xavi repeated, tasting the words.
“Yes.” Lulu nodded. “It’s just you and me for the next four days. What if we just…” Lulu trailed off, his eyes flickering nervously.
“What if we just what?”
“Well…” Lulu smiled, suddenly all shy, nervous. “We’ve already proven that we…fit.” He swallowed, a crimson blush creeping across his cheeks.
Fit. Yeah, they fit all right. Xavi had always known they would. It had never been a question of that. If only.
“Give me four days,” Lulu said, his voice suddenly steady, devoid of any kind of nervousness or doubt.
“Four days?”
“Yes. Four days where we’re together. In every and all the ways we want to be. No rules, no limits, just whatever feels right.” Hope gleamed in Lulu’s eyes as his thumbs continued caressing Xavi’s jaw.
Whatever feels right. When had Xavi ever done what felt right? Not just when it came to Lulu, but to most things in life. Since that dreadful night, he’d walked the straight and narrow, every part of his life neatly compartmentalized because what if…? What if he strayed off the course he’d set for himself? What would—what could—happen then? Would his entire world go up in flames again? It could happen again, couldn’t it? As long as you had something you loved, you could potentially lose it, couldn’t you? Abe, hismami, histias. Joe. Lulu. Oh God, Lulu.
Shaking his head, Xavi laughed, “You’re ridiculous.”
“Maybe I am, but what’s the alternative? We can’t continue like this. Something’s gotta give.”
He knew Lulu was right. Of course, he did. If that night at the theater with that creep stalker had proven anything, it was that something had to give. It didn’t mean Xavi wasn’t scared shitless, though. He was. His friendship with Lulu and Joe was the one thing constant and solid in his life. If he didn’t have that… The thought alone made it hard to fucking breathe.
“So what are you saying?” Xavi rasped.
“Give me four days to prove to you that there’s more here. That we… that we could be fucking magic together,oso.” Lulu’s voice was breathy, his fingers digging deeper into Xavi’s skin.
“Jesus Christ. If this is just about sex…” Xavi attempted to get up from the bed, but Lulu pushed back, moving closer between Xavi’s legs.
“It’s not!”
“Then what is it if not a fucking terrible lapse in judgment?”Or insanity.
“Call it a trial period, if you want. Just… let go of all your preconceived notions of what we are to each other and what you’ve convinced yourself we can never be.”
“I haven’t co—” Xavi went to object, but Lulu raised a brow at him challengingly.
“Haven’t you? Haven’t we both?”
Xavi slumped his shoulders. Perhaps theyhad.
“Look. Just give us four days to explore this thing between us. Just give us a chance. Please. What’ve you got to lose?”
