“Again, pretty boy, I’m not saying all that. Moderation in everything, and never turn off your brain unless you know you’re safe. This is new to you, and you’ve just gotta go slow until you’re used to it.”
What had seemed so hot and exciting a few moments before, now felt dark and gross.
“Finn, I can tell you’re starting to beat yourself up. Knock it off.”
“Knock it off! This is serious! I could have—”
“Have a fry!” He plunged the fry into the mayo and raised it up to my face, the white glob running down the fry and over his thumb.
A laugh escaped me. Before long I was doubled over in laughter, clutching my side. It wasn’t that funny and I knew it, but I couldn’t make myself stop. I looked up through the tears blurring my gaze and saw Schwint was laughing too.
“I don’t know what you boys are on, but I want some!” The green-haired waitress was back and staring at us. “I can barely get through my shift without two pots of coffee. What you got?”
I looked up at her, still laughing.
She lowered her voice and leaned closer. “No, seriously, what you got? I’ll pay for my share.”
Schwint calmed his laughing before me. “We don’t have anything. Sorry, sweetie. It’s been an emotional night, and we needed a good laugh.”
She straightened, eyes narrowing and darting back and forth between us, seeking out the weak link.
I shook my head in agreement. “Sorry. We really don’t.”
“Hmmph.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Okay then… So, ya’ll want any dessert, or will that be all?”
“No, I think we’re good. Just the check, please.”
Schwint gawked at me. “Are you kidding me? Pastry chef my ass!” He turned to the waitress. “We don’t have anything, but we do need a little sugar happiness. What you got back there?”
She gave the slightest of eye rolls. “Tonight…” She flipped to the back of her receipt pad. “We have chocolate cheesecake, pumpkin bread pudding, and brownie à la mode.”
Schwint turned his flirting tone to me. “What will it be, sweetheart?”
“I don’t care. Whatever sounds good to you. I like them all.”
He turned back to the waitress with a hand slap on the table. “You heard the man, one of each!”
“Schwint, I didn’t mean that. We don’t need—”
He waved me off. “Whatever. If there was ever a night to overindulge, it’s tonight! Off with it, wench! Bring us our delicacies!”
She tightened her arms over her chest, her eyebrows hitting the ceiling. “Excuse me?”
Schwint turned cherry red. “Ah, sorry. Got a little carried away.” He looked up at the woman apologetically. “Just the desserts, please. I promise we’ll tip really well.”
She walked away. She hadn’t even made it across the patio before we both doubled over in laughter once more.
We were getting ourselves back together when she returned with the desserts. Her approach brought on a whole new wave of hysteria. She slammed the dessert plates down on the table and stormed off.
I’d finally managed to gain enough control to breathe normally. “I think we’d better make it a huge tip if we ever want to come back here.”
“Oh, agreed! Agreed! And after this much fun, I definitely want to come back here. Not for our first date, though. Maybe somewhere where the staff doesn’t already hate us.”
I’d just stuck my fork into the bread pudding, and paused. “You still wanna go on a date with me?”
He nodded. An almost shy smile crept over his face, making him look a little childlike despite the salt-and-pepper hair framing his mouth.
“Huh. Well then, isn’t this our first date?”
