He looked at me googly-eyed. “Do you really want me to tell our grandkids that for our first date I watched their grandfather get every orifice filled?”
I felt my cheeks burn. “Ah, good point.”
“Yeah. I thought so.” The playfulness left his face, and he looked me in the eyes, really looked. “Do you want to go on a date with me? A real one?”
I looked at his handsome face, the barely perceptible points of his ears. So different from Brett. I thought of his take on life and relationships. So different than anyone I’d ever met.
“Yeah. I do.”
His smile beamed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Not gonna stand me up this time?”
I started to shake my head, then stopped. “Probably not. You’ll have to take your chances.”
He nodded. “Worth the risk.”
Nineteen
FINN DE MORISCO
I washalfway to the cliff when I realized how I looked—and smelled. A binge of Spor and sex in the back rooms of the Square didn’t exactly lead to a presentable condition. I turned around and sped back to my house.
Once in the hot water of the shower, I forgot how much of a hurry I’d been in to get to the cliff. It felt like the water was washing away everything from my overindulgence. I guess if I hoped to not let this thing go any deeper, I needed to call it what it was. Not so much of an overindulgence as a budding addiction. I couldn’t bring myself to go there. There was no room for that term in the way I saw myself. Sure, I hadn’t been perfect, nor had I walked around with a stick up my ass about sex, but neither was I the kind to lose my sense of propriety and responsibility for public group sex and drug use.
Awww, is the perfect little warlock turning into a drugged-out whore? Surely not! He’s too good for that!The voice made my hot water turn frigid against my skin. My muscles, which had been beginning to loosen and relax, clenched so hard I felt a stab of pain in the middle of my back.
“Shut up!” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew they were a mistake. I’d been getting better at shutting him out, and I’d done that by truly shutting him out, blocking every biting commentary, each vile suggestion—not responding to it in the slightest, ignoring and shoving it mentally away until my mind was clear. Acknowledging his presence in my mind wasn’t going to lead to anywhere good. I’d been spending so much time at the Square, where he was always quieter, I’d become out of practice and complacent.
The chuckle held even more contempt than usual, which shouldn’t be possible.You’re not better than me, you know. You’re one of us.I felt my heart clench, like someone had poked me in the chest with all the force they had in them—to the point I looked down to see if I had a finger indention in my chest.You’re just like me, no matter what they say. You’re proving it more every day.
“For the thousandth time, what do you want?” Damn it, what was wrong with me today? I’d been down this road with whatever this thing was. I knew better! I wasn’t going to respond anymore.
You’ll know soon enough!
“What do you mean?” I couldn’t help myself. The voice had never come close to giving me a direct answer before, if that could qualify as a direct answer.
You’ll be given a choice soon.He took on a bored tone, almost like a receptionist relaying a message.It is the future you were born for. You will be lifted up, made higher than the rest of witch kind. You simply have to choose.
“What kind of choice?”
The sneer returned, the message, if that’s what it had been, now delivered.Why don’t you tell me why you’re so special, so extremely powerful?
“I have no idea what you’re talking about! I’ve never claimed to be special or powerful!” I reached out, cranking the water handle all the way to the left, trying to heat the frigid water.
Of course you haven’t. You’re much too good and pure of heart to make any such claims, aren’t you? You make me sick. Anyway, you will know soon enough, as I have said. And when the time comes, take my advice. Just say yes. When they say you have a choice, trust me, you don’t.”
“Who is this ‘they’ you keep talking about?”
I do hope you refuse. I do love a good show. Maybe they will see then.
The voice was silent, and the blossoming headache that had been forming began to diminish. Apparently, question and answer time was over. What the fuck was that about? The voice had always been hateful and mean, like a playground bully. He’d never seemed like there’d been any purpose outside of enjoying the ability to taunt or push me back to the Square, to more Spor—much less that there’d been something or someone else behind the contact. Who are the “they”? What could they possibility want with me? And what choice would I be given?
The voice tore through my mind once more, not at a loud volume, but with such intensity that it was like it was screaming.You’re not better than me, you know!
The water went from icy to scalding in an instant, causing me to shout and throw myself back against the bathroom tiles.
