Noah scoffed. “Oh please. Like I care about that. Your mom will quit telling me what to do when she sees it doesn’t work. And if she doesn’t, she doesn’t. Whatever. It doesn’t mean I have to listen.”
That was how I felt, or at least how I used to. I stared at him a moment, then looked away and let my gaze settle on the fine mist sparkling against the streetlamps.
He pulled softly on my hand. “What is it? Did I just insult your family?”
I whipped my head toward him. “No. Of course not.”
“Then what is it?”
“I messed up tonight. I sat there and let her talk down to you. Mom and my dad. I didn’t say a damned thing.” I looked away once more, unable to meet his eyes.
“Are you serious? That’s what’s bothering you?”
I didn’t even try to respond. My throat constricted, and my eyes stung with tears. God, this was pathetic. I was pathetic.
“Randall, stop.” Noah quit walking and refused to let go of my hand when I attempted to move forward. “Just stop, okay?” Harper and Ron sat down beside us while Andy wove in and out of our legs. “Look at me.”
I did. Though it took more effort than I liked to admit.
“Oh, babe.” Noah let go of my hand and reached up, wiping his thumb under my eye. “You don’t need to be upset. I’m glad you didn’t say anything. That’s the last thing I want. Do you really think I wanted you to stand up and make some scene over your mom wanting me to change my hair?”
“I should have defended you.”
“Why the hell are you beating yourself up over this? It wasn’t a big thing. I handled it. I’m a grown man here. You don’t need to fight small battles with your family for me. I can take care of it.”
“You shouldn’t have to. I thought I put this all behind me years ago.”
Noah snorted, a new habit I was certain he’d caught from me. “It’s just hair, Randall. Your family can demand whatever they want. It doesn’t mean I’m going to listen. And as long as they don’t dictate that you can’t be with me, I don’t give a shit.”
“That! That’s it exactly!” I shoved my finger in his face, then quickly dropped it when he flinched. “Sorry. But that is it. Right there. That you think I might walk away from you if my family doesn’t approve. I won’t. Not in a million years. But the way I acted tonight made you think I might.”
“Whoa. I think you’re reading into this. I wasn’t saying all that. I was just saying what the bottom line is. I don’t need you to fight my battles. The only one I care about is keeping you. I want you to fight for that. Not for my hair. That’s all I was saying.”
I stared at him. Afraid if I tried to speak again, I’d start to cry. I wasn’t even sure why at this point.
“Come on. Let’s go back to your place. I have a strong desire to hold you, and I’d rather do that in bed where we can have our clothes off.”
NOAH DIDN’Tspeak as we got into bed. He simply held the sheets up for me to slide into, then wrapped me in his arms. The weight of the three dogs at our feet and the feel of Noah’s strong hairy chest under my cheek made me feel both safe and like a little kid. A feeling I was getting really sick of that evening.
The feeling dissipated after a while. Noah stroking his hands over my back and shoulders. Constantly raking my fingers through the hair on his chest and stomach. There was nothing childlike between the two of us.
I’d not planned on bringing the subject back up, but it started spilling out, thankfully not triggering any fucking tears this time. “You’ve never asked about why I’m not going to inherit any of my family’s money.”
Noah’s body tightened momentarily under my weight. “No. I admit I’m a little curious. It’s a bit strange that you’re cut off but still a part of the family. I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready. But I don’t give a shit about the money.” He peered down at me, putting his neck in what looked like an awkward position so he could see my eyes. “I really don’t.”
“I know.” And I truly did. I had no doubts at all about why Noah was with me. I readjusted, looking away from him but settling against his chest once more. “I guess that’s what bothers me. I thought I’d left all of their expectations behind. I had. But I can’t help but feel like I’m getting pulled back in more and more all the time.”
I waited for Noah to comment, but he didn’t. Just kept running his hand over my back.
“It was the beginning of my senior year in college. I was getting a business degree, of course. What else would my family choose for me? I’d been playing more and more with photography. Dad had bought me a digital camera the year before. They’d barely come out and nobody was using them yet. I’d known for a long time that I wanted to be a photographer. The digital camera cemented it. Well, you can imagine how that conversation went.”
Noah gave a slight chuckle, the sound rumbling against my ear. “The son of one of Seattle’s richest families wanting to skip the corporate world to be an artist? Yeah. I can imagine.”
“I swear I’d just wanted to talk about it. Let them know what I was thinking. Going into the conversation, I thought maybe I could convince them I could have a side business. You know. Still stay corporate and respectable, but do this other thing as well. Dad hated the idea, of course. Said it was a waste of time and money. But I think he would have been okay with it, at least at some point. It was Mom who put her foot down. In a way she normally didn’t. But with this, she just saw how it would look. Her son not living up to the Morgan name. A lowly photographer. Especially when Dustin was already rising up the ranks at Amazon. She forbade it. Not from her son. And before I realized what I was saying, I was shouting about how I was going to drop out of college and enroll in art school for photography.”
“Ouch. How’d your dad respond to that?”
I thought for a moment. “You know, I don’t even remember him being there at that point. I imagine he’d left when Mom and I started to argue, not worth his time. Of course I doubt he envisioned it going the way it ended up. Mom said that if I expected any of the Morgan inheritance, I needed to do what I was told. That they knew best. You know. All that shit. And I said I didn’t want it, then. That if their money came with so many strings, that I didn’t want it. I dropped out of college and had my own apartment within a week.”
