Suddenly, Buck tore his mouth away. He panted for breath. “Are you sure this is a good idea? I don’t want you to—”
Sterling reclaimed Buck’s mouth, refusing to hear whatever bullshit thing he had convinced himself was true. Buck hadn’t touched him in weeks. Sterling couldn’t take it. This was the one place he needed to feel normal. They were what kept him sane. Sterling had no trouble stripping Buck from his shirt. Unfortunately, that meant freeing his mouth for a moment.
“I just need to know this is really what you want.”
Sterling went flush against Buck, letting him feel how much he wanted this. “I love you.”
Buck’s flushed face was sexy as hell. He didn’t hesitate. “I love you too.”
Sterling gave him a sharp nod. “Then trust me. This is what I wa—”
Buck had Sterling over his shoulder before Sterling could finish. Sterling hid a smile against Buck’s back. Buck was so big and strong, taking up too much space. He always manhandled Sterling, but also made love like Sterling was precious to him.Buck had always been the exact thing Sterling needed for his battered soul. He carried the mental load, taking the hard decisions from Sterling. Buck was such a perfect place to feel safe. He was Sterling’s home.
Buck gently placed Sterling on the bed. The way he looked at Sterling had Sterling’s heart crawling to his throat. He shouldn’t have left. Sterling never should have accepted that contract in Miami. If he had just stayed here with Buck, so many terrible things never would’ve happened. Unexpectedly, tears filled his eyes. His vision blurred.
Buck was there, holding him in an instant. He kissed Sterling’s temple. “Shh. It’s okay. I’ve got you. I knew it was too soon. I should’ve been stronger in my resolve and stuck with that.”
It took Sterling a second to push words through his swollen throat. “No. That’s not it. I’m sorry. Don’t let me ruin things.”
Buck pulled away enough to hold his stare. “You’re not ruining anything. You’re in my arms. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from this life. You’re my everything. This is all I need.”
Sterling shook his head. “It just hit me how I ruined my life. If I hadn’t left you.”
“You would’ve missed out on a dream career while I still jerked you around. If you hadn’t left, I might not be here now with my first box to move in. We might not be getting married. Hell, if you were smart, you’d be done with my bullshit way before now.You leaving and forcing me to see what I lost is what saved us. A lot of bad happened, but none of it is your fault.”
Sterling clung to every word, desperate to hold on to his sanity. “I need you to make love to me.”
“Baby, I—”
“I’ve already done the lube bead.”
The neediness in Buck’s eyes gave him away. He wanted this. “What kind of man would I be if I took advantage of you right now?”
Sterling wasn’t having that bullshit. “You’re not. I’m taking advantage of you. I need you to hold me and make love to me. Please?” He wasn’t above begging. Sterling felt too needy. The boy desperate for love inside him was in charge tonight. He didn’t know what would happen to his mind if Buck said no.
Buck’s hand swept down Sterling’s hip, taking Sterling’s shorts with him. The air seemed to thicken. Buck stole the shorts, leaving him nude. His heated gaze slid down Sterling’s body. Sterling nearly moaned at the lust in Buck’s stare. Buck moved away long enough to strip away his clothes and grab a condom.
“I jacked off before I came here so I wouldn’t fall on you with all the pent-up need inside of me. Of course, it didn’t work. It’s you. I swear there’s something about you I’ve never stood a chance against.”
Sterling soaked up every word like a needy sponge. Sometimes he thought there wasn’t enough love in the world to fill him. He was an empty vessel riddled with cracks. Sterling felt incapable of holding on to anything, but he would do whatever it took to keep Buck. “There’s nothing special about me. But I absolutely love you more than anyone else ever could.”
Sterling found himself covered in nearly three hundred pounds of cowboy. “Don’t say that again.” Buck looked intense as hell. “You are special. That’s not just my opinion. You are loved by the people on this ranch, especially your brother and Quince. More than anything by me. You’ve got talent like I’ve never seen before. I’m willing to bet everything I own that teams all over the world are rubbing their hands together, waiting to see if you’re up for grabs. Every day, I wake up knowing that you’re so amazing, there’s zero chance I’ll get to keep you. You were always too important to spend your life with me.”
He saw the moment Buck had talked himself straight into regretting Sterling.
Sterling gently pushed, urging Buck onto his back. He straddled Buck, forcing Buck to stay put. Buck looked like a runner. “No. Don’t do that.” Sterling kissed the corner of Buck’s mouth, teasing him. “I’m supposed to be the fucked-up one. You’re perfect.” He kissed the other corner of Buck’s mouth. “Only a fool would walk away from you. I won’t be that idiot again.” He swiped his tongue across Buck’s bottom lip.
Buck opened for him.
Sterling took full advantage and control. One thing about Sterling: absolutely nothing could steal his desire for Buck. Buck was a sickness. Sterling craved staying just like this for eternity. Nothing meant more. While he had Buck distracted, Sterling quickly positioned himself and sank onto Buck’s waiting cock. The ragged breath Buck took punched Sterling in the heart. His eyes started burning again. Their fingers linked as Sterling rocked himself against Buck, slowly taking what he wanted. The press of tears at the backs of his eyes grew stronger. This was what Miami had stolen from him.
Buck tore his mouth away. The horror in his expression made Sterling realize he was crying. His tears were on Buck’s face. He looked horrified. “We should stop.”
Frustration welled inside Sterling. He panicked. “No. Please? I need you. I need this.”
Buck studied his face for a moment. He rolled and tucked Sterling beneath him. His gaze never wavered from holding Sterling’s stare. “I have everything you’ll ever need. It’s a promise. You never have to beg.”
“I know.”
