Quince looked confused.
Oh no. He had opened a box he couldn’t reseal.
“Why would a manic episode stop him from returning?”
Buck’s shoulders fell. He already knew Quince wouldn’t let this go. Buck sure as hell didn’t want Quince approaching Sterling over the matter. Another thought occurred to him. How did Quince not know any of this? There had been a public confession and everything. The whole incident might not have as much coverage as Buck suspected. He had avoided the news like his sanity depended on it, because it did. Still, Quince’s man wasa huge basketball star. Sports news was likely a staple in their home.
Quince still stared at him, openly waiting for answers.
Buck cleared his throat. “Do you really not know? I thought the entire household had already passed around all of Sterling’s business.”
Quince shook his head. “I’ve been out of town and the guys don’t talk to me like I’m one of them. They treat me like I’m their boss. All I heard from Tip—very reluctantly on his part—was Sterling had some sort of relapse. I could tell he didn’t want to tell me that much, but I assumed that was because I was still healing.”
Well. Shit. “I assumed it was all over the news.”
“What was all over the news?” His tone said he wouldn’t wait much longer before snapping.
Buck was trying his ass off here. The information Quince wanted was only an internet search away. Damn. It was best Quince heard the news from him. He cleared his throat again. “I wish you wouldn’t make me say it. Sterling’s coach drugged and raped him.”
“What?” The deep growl to Quince’s voice wasn’t good for anyone. He didn’t wait for Buck to answer what had likely been a rhetorical question. “I’ll kill him. Jathan can afford to keep me out of prison.”
Buck got it. He felt the same, but no one could help Sterling if they were all in prison. Plus, if they killed the guy, the case would get even more attention. Sterling needed peace.
“The guy confessed, which is why I’m shocked you haven’t heard this. It was likely all over sports news channels.”
“We rarely watch that. Jathan studies past games and whatnot, but when he spends time with me, he’s spending time with me. What happened after he confessed? Is Sterling in counseling?” Quince paused for a second as the full ramifications seemed to settle in. “Is this why he came home and fell apart?”
“The guy is in prison, and yes.”
Quince turned around for a second, as if he needed a moment to calm down without anyone looking at him. When he turned back, Quince looked devastated. Buck imagined he looked the same. The impact of the news never lessened.
“What can I do?”
Buck had to be straight with him. “You can pretend nothing has changed. Sterling doesn’t want to go back because he knows how everyone will look at him. He knows this bullshit will be in his face every day, overshadowing every accomplishment he’s made. He needs this place to be a soft, normal home.”
Quince nodded. Buck could see in his eyes that doing nothing felt impossible. That was how Buck felt every night when he sat down to write the next love letter. The helplessness woke upalongside him like a second person living in his home. Every day, Buck felt useless as hell. He didn’t know how to stop.
Quince motioned toward the fence. “Let’s get this done so you can get back to him. I’m sure you’re all he wants right now. The way he smiled after you plopped that hat on his head said everything. You’re where his happiness lives. Right now is the time for you to focus on that. The schedule can lean heavier on me for a while. Sterling needs you.”
Quince could never know how much that meant to Buck. Buck never knew if he did the right thing. He needed someone else to tell him what to do. If Quince thought Sterling needed more of Buck, then Buck was about to make the guy completely sick of him. It was time.
Chapter Nine
Whilestandingunderahot shower, Buck stared at nothing, lost in his head. His entire body was lit like a firecracker, begging for Sterling’s touch. No one could possibly understand what it was like for him to have Sterling’s attention. He had been a single dad since AJ’s mom had relinquished all rights the day he was born. Buck had taken one look at his newborn son and felt the weight of the world land on his shoulders, along with more love than he had ever felt in his life. It had been a struggle, staying afloat as a single dad. While, thanks to his parents, he had still found time to keep bed hopping, that hadn’t lasted long. No one, male or female, had any real interest in a guy with a kid who was also nothing more than a farmhand. Then came Sterling.
The day Sterling had begun heavily flirting with Buck, he had been more than a little horrified. But Buck couldn’t deny loving the attention and feeling desired again. He had never intended to touch Sterling. Little by little, every day, Sterling had broken him down. Each day Sterling flashed heated looks his way was another chink in his armor. Sterling was beautiful… and way too young for Buck. Except Sterling possessed an old soul since he had never truly been a child. Sterling had carried the weight of being the invisible and unwanted kid. He had such a playful personality, but when he looked at Buck, damn. That was a grown man staring at him. Everything about Sterling was ten times more than anyone else. Sterling didn’t care Buck was older or had a kid. He always treated Buck like he was just a man Sterling couldn’t resist. That was fucking addictive.
Now Buck had to go to Sterling’s and act like the proper gentleman. He needed to be there for Sterling as the man who loved him and supported him. Buck was scared he would fail. He missed the passion. Mindlessly, Buck’s hand slid down his stomach until he gripped his cock. His eyes fell closed as pleasure ran through him. Behind closed lids, he saw the way Sterling always held his stare as he made his way down Buck’s body. The heat in his expression as he swallowed Buck’s erection was mind-melting. He was desperate to feel that hot mouth now, knowing they didn’t have to hide. Knowing Sterling would be his husband. Nothing was just an out of reach fantasy anymore.
Buck stroked faster. He was already balanced on the edge of a knife. Buck had been too long without the slow way they made love. God, he craved the connection. His heart was famished. Buck’s every breath came out as a pant. Sterling’s perfect nude body filled his mind. Fuck, it was always so hot and tight on hisdick. The way he kissed Buck’s neck was enough to break Buck. The moment imaginary lips touched his neck in Buck’s mind, a loud gasp tore from his lips. He stroked harder and faster, riding the ecstasy to the end. For a moment, Buck stood under the water, panting for breath with a completely blank head. Then the most invasive of all thoughts hit. What if he truly was the reason Sterling gave up all his dreams? If so, Buck had to live with that. He didn’t know if he could.
Sterling chewed the side of his thumbnail. Buck had texted and let him know he was on his way. His impatience was through the roof. Even on the best of days, it wasn’t good to be alone with his thoughts. He needed a break from himself. Sterling had all the plans to lose himself. They all involved using Buck.
When the knock came, Sterling bolted to his feet and toward the door. He tried not to look too desperate as he pulled open the door.
Buck held a box. “I was thinking I should—”
Sterling grabbed two handfuls of Buck’s shirt and jerked him inside. He captured Buck’s mouth. The box hit the floor. Sterling went to work on Buck’s jeans. He was already down to nothing but workout shorts. A lube bead did its job. Sterling was ready to go.
