When the doctor suggested that she undergo a series of tests, Ilse had quickly agreed. She knew she was delaying the inevitable, but she didn’t care. The cowardly, secret part of her was willing to do almost anything to stay hospitalized forever.
At least here, she didn’t need to leave. At least here, she could pretend she was receiving treatment that wouldeventuallymake her see. At least here, she could pretend everything was still okay between her and the billionaire.
It was almost mid-January when she was finally discharged, and despite Ilse’s insistence that she could manage on her own, the billionaire had still showed up to accompany her on the ride home.
“We can leave anytime we’re ready.”
“I’m definitely ready.”
The words rolled past their lips with ease, and she hated every one of them. It sounded so damn fake, and hadn’t she been the one to promise herself that she wouldneverlie or pretend again?
Ilse sensed the billionaire starting to move, and she managed to keep her smile in place even as she strained her ears for his footsteps.
Where are you? Make noise. Let me know you’re still here.
When fingers suddenly reached for her hand, she couldn’t help jerking, and it was like life laughing at her face, telling herself that no matter how she wished otherwise, she had already become what she most feared.
She was weak...and there was nothing she could do about it.
“I’m sorry.” The billionaire swiftly withdrew his fingers as he spoke. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
His grim tone made Ilse want to curse herself, and she said in a rush, “You don’t have to be sorry, and you didn’t frighten me. I’m just not used to...”
Being blind.
But she caught herself in time. “Anyway...” She forced a laugh. “I just need to be more sensitive or something.”
Silence.
“I’m going to reach for you now...”
She nodded.
So relax, Ilse. Relax. Please relax so he wouldn’t think you need him any more than you already do.
A moment later, and she felt his touch, fingers once again twining with hers. Another moment, and he was pulling her carefully to her feet. “Shall we go?”
“Okay.”
As he led her out, the painful realization that it might always be like this between them struck her—-
Would they never be able to walk beside each other?
She managed to keep herself from stumbling, managed to keep the fake smile on her lips as she sensed the billionaire’s gaze on hers.
I’m okay,she told herself.
I’m okay.She told herself this repeatedly even as terror closed her throat and breathing once again became a quiet, desperate struggle.
“We’re getting out now.”
“We’re getting inside the car.”
“We’re getting out.”
Ilse knew the billionaire was doing his best, but even so, every word just made it harder and harder for her to breathe. He was acting like he already knew she needed him, and she didn’t know what to do.
As the silence between them continued to ripple with painful tension, she strove to fill it, asking with determined cheer, “Where’s Jan?”
