Why?
Ilse wasn’t supposed to fucking need anyone this way.
“Jaak,” she whispered brokenly. “Say something, please.”
But he couldn’t say a fucking word.
Even knowing she was waiting for him to speak—-
Even knowing she needed him to speak—-
Terror consumed him at the thought of how much she would need him, and how he was fucking guaranteed to fail her...just like the way he had failed Willem.
“Jaak.Please.”
Beautiful, strong, kind Ilse.
Why did this have to happen to her?
Why not him?
Why was it never him?
Why did it always have to be his loved ones that ended up hurt and never fucking him?
Chapter Eighteen
Ilse had never thought to wonder what life would be like if she couldn’t see. It just wasn’t a possibility, and even in the times her life had hit rock bottom, the worst thing that she had allowed herself to imagine was that she would die, and no one would look after Jan.
But now that ithadhappened, Ilse realized that death would have been a mercy.
Jan already had Jaak, and she knew the billionaire would continue to look after her brother even when she was gone.
Death didn’t scare her, but this – this world of darkness that she was now imprisoned in – terrified her, and every second living in it was a desperate, painful struggle. In a world where she would never see the sun rise or set, time had lost all meaning, and she became alone and immortal.
The years might continue to pass her by, but in her mind she would always be twenty-three because it was all she knew.
She could be in a room full of people, and it would be like being haunted by the living. She might hear them, feel them, but because she couldn’t see them, they were nothing but ghosts to her—-
And the billionaire was no different.
With every day that passed, Ilse could feel him drifting further and further away from her, and she just didn’t know what to do.
Stay with me.This was what she wanted to say, but how could she let the words out when she knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear?
That was the funny thing about being blind. It might have taken away her sight, but it had also cursed Ilse with more insight than she wanted. It might have killed her eyes, but it had made her heart beat again, and now there was no hiding from the truth.
She loved him.
She loved Jaak.
She would love him forever, but how could she chain him to her, knowing that she was no longer what he wanted?
Jaak de Konigh wanted a woman who was strong, a woman who would not need him.
And she was no longer either of those.
CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARcame and went, the holidays allowing Ilse to continue burying her head under the sand. With Ilse’s friends from Glory Hall and an army of de Konigh relatives visiting frequently, there was no chance for them to talk, and that was how she liked it.
