"Do?"
"Decide to try sex!" I huffed, because he just wasn't keeping up. "How does that work?"
"Kinda depends on who you're dating."
Letting out a groan, I rolled my eyes. "I'm talking about with you three!"
The way his lips curled, stilled, pressed together, and the corners still crept up? I knew I'd said something wrong there, but the funny sort, not the stupid kind. He was trying hard to keep from making me feel bad. It was part of the reason why I wanted to know how to do this.
Rymar was amazing. He was such a good friend. I had no doubt I could trust him, but the same was true for all of them. Zasen pushed me, but he made it clear that saying no would make him stop and back off. He'd proved it to me a few times!And Kanik? He was handsome, and gentle, and everything I thought a man couldn't be.
"Well," Rymar said when he had his mouth under control, "I can promise you that if you want to try sex with any of us, we wouldn't mind. We also wouldn't hurt you. More than that, if you changed your mind in the middle? We'd stop, Ayla."
That. I couldn't even explain what it was he'd said, but I felt it. The safety of knowing I had that much control? It made me willing to even try this. And yes, Zasen had been right. It was a lot easier to say no than to try something as terrifying as this, but I was done with being scared. I was tired of feeling like I was missing out on something while also worrying about surviving it.
All my life, I'd believed men were my enemy. They would hurt me. They'd be the cause of my death. Up here, that was not the case. But it was more than that. It was these three! They'd been so gentle and understanding with me. They'd convinced me I really did want more, and the number of times I'd lain in bed, waiting to find sleep, and found myself thinking about their kisses?
I was going to be brave.
"So when can I ask?" I wanted to know next.
"Think about it for a bit," Rymar told me. "I just gave you a lot of information, and I'm pretty sure Holly's asleep."
"Because you tired her out with the ball."
He grinned. "Yep. But you know how I'm a good friend?"
I nodded quickly. It was why I felt like I could ask this.
"Well, I'm going to do you a favor," he said. "You want to know how to date? Well, there's a thing we Dragons do. We feel it out, so I'm going to check and see if Zasen and Kanik would be interested in a relationship like that."
"What do I do if they aren't?"
"Then," he told me, "you decide what you can handle. Not dating all of us, not dating some of us, not dating one of us, ornot dating at all. You need to know that part, Ayla, because men are allowed to say no too."
"Yeah," I breathed. "That's the part that makes it so terrifying."
"Yes, it really is."
Eight
Rymar
While Ayla had talked to me about dating, I'd done my best to make sure she was ready for this. That she'd even asked about it proved just how far she'd come, but I still had my one little rule. In order for her to say yes, she had to understand that saying no was an option. Not a requirement, nor an expectation, but a real and viable option.
And she'd accidentally made that clear tonight.
Once her side of the second floor grew quiet, I got up. It was late, but not excessively so, and I knew Zasen kept weird hours. So, making sure I didn't make too much noise, I carefully crept downstairs. Not surprisingly, my best friend was sitting in the living room with a book before him. He was also looking at me.
"Thought you were asleep already," he said when I made my way to the other chair and sat.
"Nope. I had a little chat with Ayla."
He rocked his head, accepting that. "I think she's still worried about Kanik."
I murmured under my breath. "Yes and no. She gets that he's going to be okay, but she's still trying to deal with how she felt when she realized there's a real chance one of us might not make it back."
"Makes sense," he agreed.
