"And," I went on, "it seems she's decided she likes kissing."
Zasen lifted a brow. "Okay? I mean, her kissing Kanik in front of us was a big step."
"No shit," I mumbled. "I didn't expect her to do that. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm proud of her."
"But shocked," Zasen agreed. "Granted, it sounds like you did a good job convincing her it wasn't terrifying." The man smirked at me as he said it.
I grunted, making it clear I wasn't amused. "She asked. She wanted to know how - "
"Nope," Zasen said. "I'm not talking about that part. I'mtalkingabout the part where you got that woman drunk, let her get wild, and proved she'd be just as virginal and confused the next day. Then, when she lashed out, you drove the point home: she's safe with us."
My eyes jumped over to the far wall. He was right. I knew he was, but I'd spent too long trying to downplay my feelings for that girl and it had become a habit. Unfortunately, that made this next part harder.
"So..." I dragged the word out while I thought how to bring this up. "Tonight, Ayla asked me about dating."
He stilled. "What do you mean?"
"It seems our little Phoenix is interested in dating now," I tried to explain. "She wanted to know how to start. She also really hated the idea of picking. When I pointed out that she had to ask, she was confused. More than that, shehatedthe idea she could ask and a man can still say no, so I told her to think about it. To decide what she'd do if the people she's interested in aren't all feeling the same way."
"Who?" Zasen asked.
"Us."
He flinched back slightly, as if that surprised him. "Which 'us' are you talking about?"
"Kanik," I said, "and you, and apparently me."
And the asshole smiled again. "Oh, so you're not just a friend anymore?"
"I dunno," I said. "Zasen, I can't see how this could work."
Leaning forward, he set his book down, clearly giving up on it. "Which part, Ry?"
"Me!" I insisted. "Kanik knows how I feel about him, and putting Ayla in the middle of us? That changes everything."
"Not that much."
"And," I went on, refusing to let him get me sidetracked, "I don't think she understands what she's really asking. Ayla likes kissing. She likes holding hands and hugging. Fuck, that girl loves hugs. She also likes to curl up beside me - "
"Which is more proof you're notjusta friend," he taunted.
"Yeah, but Kanik - "
And he thumped his tail on the floor hard enough to make me stop. "I don't give a shit about Kanik right now," Zasen hissed. "Rymar, the first step to figuring this out? Are. You. Into. Her?"
I froze. Every single muscle in my body paused, holding me as still as a statue, and I didn't want to break it. I didn't want to have to say the next words. I did not want to prove myself wrong.
"I wanted to be her friend," I finally said, letting my body relax again.
"And I wanted to treat her like the enemy," Zasen countered. "Neither changes that she's a beautiful girl."
"She is," I agreed.
"And nice," he added.
I huffed at him, because I could see what he was doing. "And brilliant, and brave. I know, Zasen. I also told her we're only friends, and I do not want to betray that trust."
"I don't think you are," he assured me. "To Ayla, emotions come with friendship first. She's not driven by lust. Fuck, she's scared of it!"
