I looked at his tear-stained face, and the pain that was in his eyes. I hated it and wanted to stop the pain. I wanted him to be happy. It was time I let my heart rule my head. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him; I said it over and over in my head as I stared into his eyes. I loved Morgan.
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles softly. “Please can we give it a go? Properly this time, no friends with benefits. I want to be out in public and be holding your hand, to be able to kiss you in front of our friends and family. I want you, all of you. My life is nothing without you, Andie.”
I drew circles on the shoulder of his t-shirt with the tips of my fingers. “Okay,” I replied. “We’ve been through so much and are still somehow linked to each other. Something or someone up there is telling us to give it a try.”
“So, that’s a yes? You and me together as a couple?” He was practically bouncing up and down on the bed.
“That’s a yes.” I leaned forward and kissed him.
“Fuck, you’ve made me so happy, baby.” He pulled me in and hugged me tightly. “We need to get you better.” He got out of bed. “Now, what can I get you? A drink? Something to read or eat?”
“No, nothing, thanks. Can you just lie with me whilst I try to get some rest? I’m so tired and want to be in your arms.”
His demeanour calmed. “Of course, baby. Let me just tell Mum and I’ll be right back.”
My eyes were already closing when I heard him leave the room. Just a few moments later he was back and slipping into bed beside me, moving me gently into his arms. I fell asleep with him telling me how much he loved me.
CHAPTER 30
MORGAN
It was a week after Andie had returned from Spain, and I alternated between grief and being happier than I ever had been. She was mine, fully, but it had broken me to see her so hurt. We had barely left the bedroom during the week. She was happy staying in bed, watching movies and cuddling, and I was more than happy to stay with her. We’d had Charlie down with us for a few hours each day. Andie said it cheered her up to see him.
I pulled her in closer, her deep breaths soothing me. I couldn’t believe she thought she was damaged. I vowed to spend every day showing her that, besides my son, she was the best thing to have ever happened to me. Her phone vibrated on the table; I reached over to turn it off so it didn’t disturb her when I saw the text was from her ex.
M: I miss you. Call me.
Just three simple words, but I could feel my world falling apart around me. Had they been talking when she was on holiday? Was she just with me because she felt guilty for losing the baby? He was so much better for her than I was. He was usedto the night life and her crazy schedule, had money, and could offer her way more than I could.
Maybe she would see that message, realise that she missed him too, and end things with me. I couldn’t let that happen. I gently put her on the bed and clicked into the message, about to delete it, before realising I couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be right, but then I saw several more of them. He was sorry, he missed her, still loved her, wanted to try again. It had been going on for months, even when we were friends with benefits. Was that why she had pushed me away?
I fumed about the text messages all night, waiting for her to wake up so I could ask her about them.
“Morning handsome.” She smiled sleepily at me.
“Why didn’t you tell me your ex has been texting you?” I blurted out.
“Uh, what?” she asked, still half asleep.
“Your ex, he’s been texting you,” I ground out through my teeth.
“Aw, I know, he’s been doing it for months. Just press delete and forget about him.” She went to turn over, but I wasn’t done talking.
My breaths were becoming faster. I felt a burning sensation in my chest. I needed to know why she had been hiding it from me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She turned back to look at me, finally sensing there was more to the conversation than she thought. “Morgan, do you tell me every time Brooke texts you?” she yelled.
“Well, no, but she’s not saying she fucking loves me, is she? Or that she wants to get back together.” I stood up, pressing the palms of my hands into my eye sockets and trying to take deep breaths.
“I didn’t tell you because it means nothing to me. Did you also see that I haven’t replied to a single one of his messages?” she replied with a slight edge to her voice. She sighed heavily and pulled the covers up higher.
“You still should have told me. You didn’t delete them, did you? It’s like you’re keeping him hanging on in case we don’t work out or you got bored of me.” I paced around the room; my head was spinning.
“We haven’t been together, Morgan. I didn’t think I needed to tell you. Now, don’t be stupid. I’m with you.” She shook her head minutely from side to side, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, for now, before you push me away again. You know what? Forget about getting together. You have more important people, better people to worry about who can give you more than I ever could. He’s better for you than me. It’s over, you don’t need to worry about me anymore.”
