All my old insecurities had come back. I needed to get out of there, needed to walk off the anger.
“Morgan, wait,” she called after me as I ran out of the room.
I left the house and began the long walk home. On the way, I had time to think. I’d taken out my insecurities on her. That was fucking stupid. She had enough going on without me acting like a jealous twat. I decided I would give her more time to rest and would call her when I got home.
By the time I got home I was freezing. I hadn’t taken a jacket, and the autumn air was in full swing. The house was empty when I got in, so I ran a bath to warm up. I tried calling her while I waited for the bath to fill but couldn’t get an answer. She was probably still sleeping. She’d had a rough couple of weeks.
I climbed into the warm water and settled in, letting the water soothe my body, but it didn’t help the turmoil inside. I lay my head back onto the bath pillow and closed my eyes. I would make it up to her. I was so fucking stupid.
I’d finally won her over, and in anger, I’d told her it was over. What the fuck was I thinking. It would serve me right if she turned around now and said she didn’t want me.
“Morgan?” I jumped at the sound of my mother’s voice outside of the bathroom door.
“Yeah?” I croaked, my throat dry.
“You’ve been in there a while. Are you okay?” Concern laced her voice.
“I’m okay. Just fell asleep.” I wiped at my face with the cool water and shook the droplets out of my hair.
“Okay, love. See you when you get out.” I heard her steps walk away from the door and the stairs creaking as she descended.
I jumped out of the cold water and towelled off quickly. Goosebumps covered my whole body and I dressed quickly. I picked up my phone and checked it. Nothing. I called her again, but it just rang out so I texted her.
M: I’m sorry. Please, let’s talk.
No reply.
M: Baby, please, I can’t lose you again.
Still no reply. I ran down the stairs to where my mother was on the sofa. She looked up and must have seen the worry on my face.
“Morgan, what’s wrong?”
“I fucked up, Mum.” I burst into tears as I sat down next to her.
“What have you done?” she asked, putting down her phone and sitting up. I went over everything that had happened. “Oh,Morgan, she would never get back with him. He hurt her so badly and was such a dick during the divorce. She loves you.”
“I know. I know. But I saw the texts and lost it. Now she won’t answer her phone… can you call her?” I asked.
“I don’t want to get involved.” She was hesitant.
“Please, I can’t lose her again,” I cried.
“Okay, I’ll try.” She nodded and picked up her phone. I watched as she rang and texted Andie. “Can’t get hold of her.” Now my mother was looking worried. “I’m calling Jonathan.” I could only nod.
“Jonathan, hi, Morgan is trying to reach Andie, but we can’t get her on the phone. We were wondering if you could check on her for us, please?” I listened to the one-sided conversation.
“Yeah, thanks…fuck.” My mother looked at me.
“Mum?” I sat up straight.
“Hang on, Jon.” She held the phone out to me.
I took it off her with shaking hands. “Hello?”
“She’s not here, mate. What happened?” Jonathan’s deep voice came down the line.
“Jon, I fucked up, man. I saw texts from her ex and told her she should be with him; I just went off on one. Told her she was hiding it from me and all that shit.”
