(audience makes noises of surprise, amusement)
RIFF:
Whoa. Come on now. There’s no need for that.
CAL:
No no. We’re going to settle this matter once and for all. Stand up. Get over here.(stands)
RIFF:
(stands reluctantly, walks to Cal)
CAL:
(unrolls tape measure partway, tucks tab under Riff’s boot)There we go. Don’t move.(extends tape measure to the top of Riff’s head)Would you look at that? Five-foot-eleven exactly.
RIFF:
Told ya.
HARMONY:
Yeah but he’s wearing boots.
CAL:
(glances down)That is a keen observation, Ms. Sonora. Riff, I’m going to have to ask you to take off the boots.
RIFF:
(sighs)Can I skip that part if I just admit defeat?
CAL:
Hmm, I don’t know.(turns to audience)What do you guys think?(audience divided but ultimately positive)Okay, you can sit.
RIFF:
Realistically, though, I’m wearing shoes a lot of the time.
CAL:
I wear these a lot of the time.(points to glasses)I wouldn’t say I have perfect eyesight.
(audience laughs)
RIFF:
Yeah yeah.
CAL:
Let’s see, what was the song after “Mr. Five-Foot-Ten”?(consults notes)“Everyone’s a Comedian.”
HARMONY:
I actually really liked that one.
