The Night Crewwith Cal Moreda
(studio applause)
CAL:
My next guests are two of the most talked-about celebrities this year. Separately, they top the music charts in different genres, together they’ve begun to dominate the charts inmultiplegenres with “Lip Sync”—a duet—while their hate-to-love drama just about broke the internet. Please welcome Riff Hurley and Harmony Sonora!
(Applause. Riff and Harmony both wave, then take their seats; Riff puts his arm around Harmony)
I’m just gonna say what everyone’s thinking.(pause)What the hell, guys?(audience chuckles)Like … ?(gestures in confusion)
HARMONY:
(laughs)I know we’ve kind of been … self-contradicting …
CAL:
(to audience)For those who are not aware—but if you’re not, what’s wrong with you?—Riff and Harmony had a very public musical feud for several months, releasing songs aimed at one another in a critical way. And now, as you can see, they’re dating! It’s like something out of a movie. No wonder people don’t believe it.
RIFF:
Look, it’s not that crazy. Lots of people don’t like each other at first, and then they sort of, you know, figure it out. That’s all it was, really. We misunderstood each other. Now we’re good.(looks at Harmony and smiles)
CAL:
Okay, hold on. Rewind for a sec. You two have written multiple hate songs to each other. That’s kind of a big deal. How do you get over that? First we had … what was it … “Friction”?(picks up notes and looks over them, puts on glasses)
HARMONY:
(grimaces)
CAL:
(adjusts glasses)Then it was “In Harm’s Way.” I thought that was especially clever. Do people actually call you “Harm,” Harmony?
HARMONY:
They do, yeah. Not, like, in a mean way, just in a … short … way. Like “Cal.”
CAL:
Fair enough. What came next?
HARMONY:
“Mr. Five-Foot-Ten.”
RIFF:
Eleven.
HARMONY:
Give it up, babe.(pats Riff’s knee)
CAL:
You know, I thought this might come up. And because I’m a smart man, I prepared in advance.(removes tape measure from pocket)
