I'm not only surprised about this, I’m irritated. “It's pretty bold to set me up with someone when I'm bringing a girl with me." Allison doesn’t even factor in. I called her two days ago and told her we were finished. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant phone call, but after I ended our last date with a fake migraine, I knew it was over. Our arrangement was casual, and Allison knew that, but when she responded withYou know what Aidan? Go fuck yourselfI realized perhaps things weren’t as casual for her.
Natalie straightens and turns, resting the heels of her palms on the countertop behind her. Her gaze is bold and strong. “I’m sure they prepped Anna beforehand. She was expecting you to walk in with me, but she knew I wasn't a threat to her.”
Aren’t you?
The question tumbles through my body, shocking my brain, immobilizing my tongue and confusing my heart.
I can see my reflection in the mirror. I'm slack-jawed and my eyes are wide, and there is not a thing I can do about it. I am stunned.
Natalie's head tips to the side and her eyes become worried. “Aidan are you—”
“Dinner!” My mother’s voice carries upstairs. It's a shame she didn't have more kids, she has the projection to yell for many more people.
“Let's go,” I say hastily, spinning around and hurrying through the bedroom. My bag still sits on Natalie's bed, but I can deal with that later. For now, I just need to get out of here. Natalie's four steps behind me the entire way to the table, and I can't imagine what she must be thinking.
“Aidan, sit here.” My father motions to a seat. Big surprise that it’s right next to Anna. Natalie takes a seat between Shawn and my father. John and Melinda are across from us, and my mom is on Melinda's left. The whole seating arrangement feels very manufactured, and it makes me prickly. As untraditional as it was at Natalie's mom’s house, I'm starting to wish we were still there.
Thankfully, the conversation at dinner isn't as on the nose as the seating arrangement. Melinda asks Shawn a ton of questions about personal training and owning a gym. The group is small enough that it would be difficult to have a side conversation, so we all listen. Twice Anna bumps my foot underneath the table and apologizes. The second time, she adds a giggle to the apology. I wonder if Natalie finds this amusing or irritating? Maybe she hasn't even noticed.
Why do I even care?
Fuck fuck fuck.
I'm confused.
Twenty minutes later, dinner is over. It never fails to amaze me that a meal that takes so long to prepare can be finished so quickly.
“Thank you, Mom.” I stand and toss my linen napkin down on the table beside my empty plate.
“You're welcome, dear.” Mom smiles at me from across the table. “If you're going to get the pie, I think we should wait awhile. Maybe give it a little time between dinner and dessert.”
I couldn't stuff a bite of pie into my mouth if I were being forced, but I don't say that. “I'm going to get a little fresh air. Excuse me,” I say to the group, dropping a kiss on the top of my mom’s head before I leave the room. Through the kitchen and down a hallway are the doors that lead to the backyard. Once I'm through them, I take a deep, long breath of air that is so crisp I can taste it. The scent of damp earth fills my nose. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I walk down four steps and onto the lawn. Dead leaves crunch under my boots as I head for the tree line.
I need to clear my head, and sitting in that dining room was making me feel like a zoo animal in an exhibit.
I walk fifteen yards into the forest, pausing to lean on the trunk of a tree. Glancing back, I make sure I can see the house from where I am. Getting lost out here would only make things worse. I'm lost enough as it is. These errant, wayward thoughts about Natalie are making me lose my senses. Sighing, I turn back around and face what feels like an endless amount of skinny, barren trees. My eyes close, a deep breath fills my chest, and I allow my thoughts to wander like I never have before. I thought of her in high school, before I got to know her. Back then, those thoughts were mostly pure. Would she finally notice me in history class? Would she accidentally bump into me in the hall? If she did, when she turned to look at me, would her eyes ever hold recognition and longing?
My thoughts now are very different from my thoughts back then. Lifting my hand, I pinch the bridge of my nose and scrunch my already closed eyes.
I've always found Natalie attractive. I'd be lying if I said my eyes never traveled into the front of her shirt if it billowed while she was bending over. These glances were fleeting and never solidified into any concrete thoughts.
But now? My mind doesn't need her to be here for me to bring up the images. Specifically the one from her bathroom the night she got drunk.
Hips gently curving, sliding away into her backside. Dark hair tumbling down to the center of her back. The delicate way she lifted one foot, then the other, and slid down into the water.
What would've happened if I had turned around? Sunk to my knees beside the tub and let my hand drop below the water? It's too easy to imagine.
A crow screeches somewhere above me, and my eyes open. Nothing about my surroundings has changed in the last thirty seconds, except for the heavy breaths streaming from my body. Standing by myself in the woods probably isn't the best place for my daydream, but fuck it. My eyes close again, and my concentration goes back to that moment, and what Natalie's reaction could've been.
I've seen her moan over a slice of dark chocolate cake with her head tipping back and her eyes fluttering shut. In my imagination, this is how she's reacting in the bathtub. My heart is pounding now, in my imagination and in reality.
“Aidan?”
My whole body tenses. Eyes open, I turn. Disappointment rushes through me, even though I knew it wasn't her voice.
Anna stands ten feet away, gazing at me with a lopsided smile. “I thought maybe you'd run away.”
“From my own parents’ house?”
