“The difference is, I’m your pakhan. Your superior,” he says, eyes flaring with that usual dominance of his. “I gave you an order, and you pissed on it in response. You bitched about the assignment the moment I gave it to you, acting like you were capable of more. And this is what you do? You go rogue and completely blindside the rest of us?”
Clenching my fists, I try to rein that anger in. To keep from losing it on him.
“Yuri was supposed to see it as a power play and realize we’re capable of taking everything he has,” I mutter. “Kat is his blood. If he retaliates, then he risks losing her for good.”
Roman steps closer, invading more of my space. “That’s what you assumed? And what if Yuri already wrote her off? Maybe he doesn’t give a shit about what happens to her, and we’ve just given him an excuse to escalate things further.”
My stomach clenches at the thought, hating how he has a point.
He’s right…I know he is. But I can’t admit it. Not after I’ve already gone all in.
“So what do you want me to do now? Hand her back and pretend like none of this happened?” I ask, unable to stop my voice from rising slightly. “Do you want me to crawl to Yuri and beg for a truce? Is that the only way I can fix this?”
“No,” Roman says sharply, dispelling that idea altogether. “We deal with it. But you'd better pull yourself together and start acting like a leader instead of a goddamn liability. You’ve been erratic, Sergey. Unpredictable. I don’t care what you think you do and don’t deserve right now. Get your head out of your ass and start considering how your actions affect this family and everything we’ve built.”
I stare at him for a long while, feeling the urge to hit something mounting higher and higher. “Or what, you’ll keep scolding me?”
“I’ll give you exactly what you’re capable of handling. Something you can’t fumble,” he returns, not missing a beat. “If you want to be a degenerate so badly, then fine. I’ll let you fuck off somewhere and drink and indulge as much as you want. I’ll let you spend every waking moment obsessing over that woman while you convince yourself into thinking you deserve the world. But I’ll be damned if I let everyone else backslide with you. Is that what you want?”
I clench my jaw to the point of making my teeth ache, and I want to lose my mind right here and now.
But that’s exactly what he expects me to do. Roman sees me as a loose cannon, and if I play right into his hands, then he’ll know he’s right. I can’t have that—not when my place here already feels shaky as is.
Instead, I pull in a slow, measured breath. “No, it isn’t.”
“Good. Then get your shit together.”
Silently telling myself to keep a grip on whatever restraint I have left, I nod once. “I’ll handle it.”
Roman doesn’t look completely satisfied, but he doesn’t stop me from turning and leaving the office.
After the fact, I take the time to cool off before I find Nikolai and Ivan, going over the recent escalations and everything we’ve done to counter all Balakin movement. They fill me in, and I do my best to keep a level head while we go through the motions to sort out everything that has spiraled out of control.
Finally opening my eyes to what else has been going on behind the scenes while I was so wrapped up in watching Kat and pulling her into my life, I see now just how bad things have become. How that one decision snowballed into something far bigger than I imagined it would.
I thought I was doing the right thing for my family by marrying Kat without thinking twice. I assumed that since my brothers had done the same, it would serve us just as well.
But now I know it was reckless. As much as I don’t want to admit it, Roman was right.
That’s not something I’m used to saying, but it feels like I need to start now.
Still, the revelation isn’t an easy one to deal with, especially not after Roman’s threats.
In the car, I grip the wheel tight enough to make my knuckles crack.
Regardless of thinking I had it handled, the walls are closing in around me, and Yuri hasn’t slowed down. Roman is breathing down my neck and watching me like a hawk, prepared to step in and pull what minimal responsibility I have away from me.
From the start, I just wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted Roman to have absolute faith in me and my abilities. But I just keep proving him right time and time again.
To make matters worse, Katya is in my bed every night, wrapped in warmth and softness I can’t have, just out of reach.
It’s all coming down on me at once, and I’m unraveling. I know I am.
By the time I get home, I've reached a decision that’s both hard and necessary. I can’t keep doing this.
I need control over myself, my role in the business, and I need to get my wife on my side. I need her to stop icing me out and to trust me, regardless of how difficult that may be.
When I come in, she’s sitting on the couch while flipping through a book like she hasn’t noticed me yet. Then, she looks up slowly with an unreadable expression.
