Renee nodded, balling the paper up and throwing it across the room. I grabbed my roommate’s hand and got to my feet. “Let’s get out of here. Sitting around and feeling sorry for ourselves isn’t how we should spend our Sunday. We’re better than that.”
Renee grinned and squeezed my hand. “Let’s go tear some shit up.”
We laughed together, knowing that our version of tearing shit up involved a bucket of popcorn and a nauseating chick flick. But it felt good. Better than good. It felt great.
And yet, for all of my strong talk, Maxx was on my mind, and I couldn’t get rid of him.
“What is up with you? You look like you’re about to have an aneurysm,” Brooks observed, tapping my foot with his as we sat on my couch and I pretended to watch the really bad made-for-TV movie on the Syfy channel.
“Wow, you sure know how to sweet-talk a girl,” I joked, rolling my eyes.
Brooks dropped a few kernels of popcorn into his mouth and looked at me thoughtfully. “Something’s up. What is it?”
I sighed. I had messed up our friendship once by lying to him, and I couldn’t afford to lose Brooks again. Especially not now, when I needed my friends’ support more than ever.
“It wasn’t my mom on the phone that night at the bar...” I said, grabbing the bowl of popcorn from his lap and stuffing my face. “It was Maxx,” I mumbled through a mouthful of the salty snack.
Brooks’s frown deepened and he turned back to the television. “That explains why you lied about it,” he muttered.
“Ouch,” I said, grimacing.
“Whatever, you know I’m right,” Brooks said.
“Well, it’s not like he’s the best topic of conversation between us, Brooks,” I said, turning the TV down so that he would look at me.
“Okay, and that’s probably my fault. I can be a bit... judgmental when it comes to Mr. I’m-such-a-badass-when-I’m-not-choking-on-my-own-vomit,” he quipped, his mouth turning down, letting me know he was trying really hard not to snap at me.
“Brooks, come on. Can’t you take off your sarcasm pants for just one freaking minute?”
“Sure, as soon as you stop losing your fucking head over a jackass who isn’t worth your time,” Brooks fumed, his choice of words shocking the hell out of me.
“I’m not losing my head, Brooks,” I replied, completely offended. I thought I was doing pretty darn well, given the situation.
Brooks let out a long, tortured breath and took the remote from my hand and turned off the television.
“That wasn’t too cool of me. Here you are, being all honest and stuff, and I’m being a jerk. Go ahead, tell me about it,” he said, turning to face me.
I eyed him warily, not sure how truthful I should be. But I figured if our friendship was ever going to recover, I needed to tell him everything.
“Well, he asked me to go and see him at the rehab center where he’s been for the past few weeks... and I went,” I said matter-of-factly.
Brooks closed his mouth and his face went still. “You what?” he demanded.
“I went to see him on Sunday.” I threw my hands up in the air in defeat. “It was a mistake and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I guess I just thought that seeing him would help me shut the door on that part of my life. That I could be assured he was doing okay and then walk away.”
“And did you?”
“Did I what?” I asked, confused.
Brooks’s lips thinned as he answered. “Shut the door. Walk away.”
“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” I said defensively.
Brooks didn’t say anything for a really long time, though I could tell there was a lot that he wanted to say but was surprisingly holding his tongue.
“I guess, though I think that explains the staring off into space you’ve been doing,” Brooks said after a while.
“I have not been staring into space,” I argued.
