I was fighting dirty. It’s what I did. But I needed to know there was something for me out there. It was the only way I’d make it through any of this.
“That’s not fair. You’re not being fair!” she shouted, and then cast an embarrassed look around, realizing how loud she had been.
“This was a mistake. I’ve got to go. Good luck, Maxx. I mean that. Really,” she said, pushing past me and heading toward the side gate that led out to the parking lot.
Then she was gone.
And I was left with nothing.
Again.
chapter
ten
aubrey
idiot!
What in the heck was wrong with me? Why did I continue to give him that sort of power over me? Why couldn’t I ever say no to him?
Well, I’d just have to learn to. Because Maxx planned to come back and I needed to prepare myself for how I was going to handle that.
I had already learned how easy it was for me to fall back into that place where Maxx mattered. When I saw his face again I could see how much he wanted me. And I felt it—the thrill. The excitement. The overwhelming desire.
In that moment I hadwantedhim to want me. When I had dressed that day before going to see him, I had taken the time to pick out a skirt that I knew was flattering. I had chosen a shirt he had complimented me on before. I had made sure my hair was perfect and my makeup subtle but pretty. God, what was wrong with me that I was drawn back into the web of his manipulation and emotional games once again?
I had come home angry and determined. It would be all too easy for him to suck me back in.
“You look like you’re ready to kick some ass and take some names,” Renee commented after I had slammed through the front door and threw my purse onto the couch. I kicked off my shoes and collapsed down beside her. Renee hastily put the letter she had been reading on the coffee table before turning to me.
“I just saw Maxx,” I told her, my voice hard.
Renee pulled her legs up underneath her. “Are you serious?”
I nodded. “He called me when we were out at the bar. He asked me to go and see him. I wasn’t going to. But then—”
“You just couldn’t help yourself,” Renee interjected, sounding strangely angry.
I frowned at her response. “Well, not exactly. I just knew that if I didn’t I’d drive myself crazy wondering how he was. I figured it was the only way I could put this madness behind me once and for all.”
“Did it work?” she asked me.
I shrugged. “I hope so. I don’t feel as though I have any other option.”
“Is Maxx trying to move on as well?” Renee cocked her head to the side and regarded me.
I let out a breath and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. “I don’t think so,” I admitted softly.
“So when he gets out and comes back for you, telling you how much he’s changed, how things will be different, will you be able to walk away?” Renee asked as she passed me the bag of Hershey’s Kisses.
I wasn’t able to come up with an appropriate response, so I stuffed my face full of chocolate instead. Renee grabbed her own handful of candy. “It’s not so easy, is it?” she stated, giving me a sad sort of smile. I reached down and picked up the paper she had laid on the coffee table.
“What’s this?” I asked, smoothing it out.
“My baggage,” Renee answered, unwrapping a chocolate and popping it into her mouth.
“From Devon?” I asked, not reading the letter but instead handing it back.
