I still felt as though people were looking at me. I knew that I was being paranoid and more than a little narcissistic to think people would be at all interested in my life. But I couldn’t shake the horrible feeling that they allknew.
I was trying to walk as quickly as possible past the psychology building, when I was enveloped by a swarm of people filtering out the front door.
I instantly recognized the faces around me.
It was the campus addictions support group.
Crap.
I tucked my chin into my coat and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. Unfortunately, playing the part of Miss Invisible was an epic fail.
“Hey, Aubrey!” I gritted my teeth and wondered how pathetic it would look to run away as fast as my legs could carry me.
“Hey, Twyla,” I said, trying for a smile but accomplishing only something close to a grimace. I nodded at her friend Lisa, another member of the support group I had been co-facilitating until a few weeks ago. I wondered, not for the first time, how Kristie had explained my absence.
I soon found out.
“Sorry about yourpersonal issues,” Twyla said with a touch of condescending scorn. I had never really connected to anyone besides Maxx in the group. And that wasn’t the sort of rapport a counselor should ever have with a client. I was afraid of what that really said about me and my ability to perform in a therapeutic capacity.
“Personal issues?” I asked stupidly.
Twyla and Lisa exchanged a look. It was loaded with suspicion.
“Well, that’s why Kristie said you weren’t in group anymore. You know, ‘personal issues,’ ” Lisa chimed in, lifting her fingers in air quotes.
I cleared my throat to delay my response.
“Well, I um...” I stumbled inarticulately.
Lisa and Twyla exchanged looks again. They really were the epitome of the bitchy sorority girls. With their perfect hair, glossy smiles, and impeccable manicures, they carried themselves with a confidence that came only to the effortlessly cool and attractive. But to look at them you’d never know they were as fucked up as the rest of us.
“Oh, I get it, it’s not something you want to talk about. Whatever.” Twyla waved her hands as if bored with the conversation. The rest of the group had already wandered off, but I couldn’t help but notice the hard stare of one particular person.
Evan and his downtrodden girlfriend, April, had taken their time as they passed by, Evan attempting his patented form of intimidation through narrowed eyes and clenched teeth.
“Do you know where Maxx is?” Lisa asked, snapping my attention away from Evan and April and back firmly into awkward territory.
“What do you mean?” I asked, and I hated the way my voice trembled, no matter how hard I tried to control it.
“He hasn’t been to group since before you left. You guys seemed tight, we just thought he may have said something to you.” Twyla eyed me closely. Her benign words barely concealed a deeper skepticism.
Maxx hadn’t been back to group.
I wasn’t surprised by the news, but it added to my unease. His whereabouts were proving to be more than a little concerning. His apartment was unlived in. He hadn’t been back to group. He had essentially disappeared.
Where the hell was Maxx? I squared my shoulders and gave them an insincere smile, not about to tip them off to my inner turmoil.
“I barely know Maxx. Why would I know where he is?” I lied with effort. My words sounded fake, even to me. I was a shitty liar. And I was pretty sure Twyla and Lisa weren’t fooled in the slightest.
“Okay, well, if you see him, tell him we were asking about him. I owe him a cup of coffee,” Lisa said, and I wanted to scratch her stupid eyes out. The irrational, jealous harpy inside reared her ugly head. I wanted to ask about this so-called owed cup of coffee. I wanted to grab handfuls of her hair and force her to tell me exactly how well she knew my ex-boyfriend.
Instead I shrugged, trying too hard to come off unconcerned.
“I don’t think I’ll see him,” I stated. I sounded irritated and defensive and way too obvious. If I had any sense of pride and self-preservation, I’d shut up and never utter Maxx Demelo’s name again.
So why did my traitorous heart thump his name wildly in my chest?
Maxx. Maxx. Maxx.
