Pastor pushed a piece of hair back from my face. “I know, Sara. You are very beautiful. More beautiful than any other woman. You have proven your holiness. Your godliness. Which is why I feel you are ready for the most important of sacraments. God has told me it’s time for your sacred marriage.”
My heart stopped.
It had to have.
I couldn’t have heard him correctly.
“My sacred marriage?” My voice sounded frail. It broke apart and crumbled away.
Pastor Carter opened the large Bible he kept with him. He skimmed the passages and began to read.
“And he made a husband and wife, yoked together as one flesh.” Pastor looked up at me. “Marriage is a model of God and the Trinity. It is the ultimate expression of faith and devotion.”
Yes, I understood this. But—
“Your Awakening is coming, Sara. I want you to be ready. It would break my heart for you to be left behind.” There it was again.
The threat.
The warning.
He put my hand to his chest. “It is my duty as your shepherd to herd you towards God. To ensure that your fate is as it should be. To become a holy wife to a holy husband.”
“I’m to be married?” I couldn’t be sure I spoke aloud. The words were wisps of nothingness. Without form.
Pastor chuckled. “I can see this is all too much for you right now. I want you to take my Bible and read the passages I’ve highlighted. Absorb it. Take it into your heart. Know that I only want what’s best for you. What’s right. I don’t want you left here in this hostile world without me. Without your mother. Without your family.” He handed me the holy book.
The very real fear lay like a stone in my stomach.
“I don’t want that either,” I said, trying not to weep.
“You are special, Sara. So special.” He put his hand on top of my head and I lowered it obediently.
My body shuddered and I felt the tears come unbidden. I couldn’t stop them.
“Heavenly Father, guide Sara on her path. Help her see the truth of your wisdom. Fill her with your light. The end is coming. Lead her home.”
The end is coming.
We all knew that.
The end was almost here.
My Awakening was soon.
I cried and cried. I didn’t know why I cried. Whether it was from joy or sadness.
Pastor Carter smiled.
He took me in his arms. Embracing me like the child I still was in so many ways. He stroked my back, praying. His words were everything I wanted to hear.
“Your duty is to our family, Sara. To God. Always remember that.”
He twisted me into a tiny ball of needy desperation.
“I will, Pastor. Ido.”
“Follow my word and you will find eternal salvation.”
