Leo: And t-shirts
Exasperated, I type my reply as quickly as I can.
Me: Dude, I will tell you everything later. I will buy you the t-shirts myself. Just PLEASE HELP ME NOW
Thankfully, it’s not long before the three dots actually turn into useful text.
Leo: Mate, don’t overthink it. Just tell her the truth
Leo: You don’t need to make shit up or use bullshit lines
Leo: She asked you a question, answer it
Huh. I wasn’t expecting that.
I click back to the chat window with Liaden. The truth is pretty dull, but there’s nothing to gain by lying. And it’s not like anything I could realistically say will result in her coming over in just a trench coat and high heels to have Discovery Channel style wild monkey sex, so…
Dean: Not much tonight. Flicking through the sitcoms on Netflix. Probably going to heat up some of Em’s leftovers soon. Rock and roll ;)
I hold onto my phone, waiting for her icon to drop so I know she’s read it.
Oh shit, wait, I forgot to add…
Dean: How about you?
That was close. Politeness, y’all. My momma didn’t raise me in no barn.
My phone pings with another text from Leo.
Leo: Did you Google her yet?
I frown.
Me: No. Isn’t that creepy weirdo behavior?
Leo: Nah, man. Googling is pretty standard these days. And for women it’s kind of a sensible safety measure, sad to say. She’s probably Googled you, bruh.
Shit.
SHIT.
If she has, then she knows the lot. Whitmire. The death toll. The blood.
I can’t get away from it. No matter how many years pass, I will always carry the taint of it.
I don’t want her to think of me as ‘Dean the Nolan High victim’. Dean the pathetic waste of life.
But there’s nothing I can do about that.
It’s bad enough that Eli has carried me through my worst times. Leo bears the mark of my damage on his own face. And eventually, both Sadie and Em bore witness to my weakness.
Liaden will, too, if she sticks around. Someday. It’s inevitable.
Even the thought makes me want to vomit. Of all people to see me at my worst…please, not her. I just want to keep it away fromher.
But let’s be honest here. She deserves better than to have anything to do with me. She’s beautiful and smart and confident and has the world at her feet. I’m…well. Ask Mrs Oberman what I am.
What if I hurt Liaden the way I hurt Leo…
