But it was a step back, amilebehind where we’d gotten. I didn’t want to think about how his face changed when I stood up, how his lips parted like he wanted to say something more, or how I fled before giving him the chance.
“What do I do?” I whispered.
She patted my shoulder and hummed. “Since I’m not your therapist anymore, can I speak freely?”
I chuckled, my nose dripping and making the sound distorted. “You usually do.”
“Well,” Minnie settled back. “As someone who is no liar, but is familiar with the act ofomitting truths,I have to admit that speaking freely is a privilege that I’ve never had. When I was a child, my family thought I likedto start drama. I couldn’t help it—every secret came out, no matter how hard I tried. I had to learn how to speak, how to use my voice without causing damage.”
Damage.That word hovered in the air, and it reminded me of Leo.
“Some people omit the truth because they’re scared of hurting others. Some do it to protect themselves. And sometimes… the words just aren’t right. Honesty is a fickle thing, Alex. It’s tedious, and overwhelming.”
My shoulders dropped, a headache beginning to creep in. “He told me he wanted to talk about something this morning.”
She nodded. “Maybe he was finally ready. The truth, unfortunately, came out before he could tell his side.”
“Joon…” I took a deep breath, my body shaking as I let it out. “I know it was an accident. So, why does it feel like I’m falling for his killer?”
There it was — that harsh cut through my heart. It wasn’t Leo’s fault; he didn’t give the order. But he set the flame, and it was his power that Joon died from. Part of me wanted to tell Leo I didn’t blame him; it was the VIA’s mistake, and a risk that every Hero took when following commands. Things like this happened every day.
But another side of me — the one that still mourned Joon, that still wanted to scream from what happened to him—it told me that forgiving Leo would be outright betrayal. Some sort of sign that his death didn’t matter, after all. Or that I cared more about Leo than I had about Joon. I wasn’t sure which way was up anymore.
“My mother died in a car accident,” Minnie replied. “I was seventeen, and she was already gone by the time we got to the hospital. They told me the other person involved was still in surgery, and I decided to pray for him. It had been raining,badly, and no one should have been driving that day. But they both got in their cars; they had things to do, schedules to keep.”
I held onto every word, anything to keep the thoughts in my head at bay.
“I was angry at first, but I saw his family, and they looked just like us. Shocked, afraid, and so terribly sad. Gabriel got out of surgery after three hours, and of course, he lived. He’s still convinced that my prayers were what saved him, and he still doesn’t look like a killer to me.”
The story was one I hadn’t heard before, and it gave me…something.Gabriel wasn’t a killer, and Joon hadn’t been in a car accident, but the sentiment radiated through me. They got through it, and they had a future even after grief.
“Minnie,” I leaned my head on her shoulder, tucking my knees to my chest. “Thank you.”
TWENTY-SIX
LEO
Metal clangedas Reed continued to pound on the door, his voice muffled as it filtered through the cracks.
“If you think I’m going to get tired and leave, you’re wrong,” he called again. “I have snacks, booze, and literally nothing to do. I’ve gottime.”
I didn’t respond. I sat on my bed, with an ashtray by my side filled with burned ends, and another cigarette sitting between my teeth. Everything was gray; the color was gone. The butterfly wing blue eyes, the red ears and cheeks that glowed when she was mad or embarrassed, the midnight hair that spilled over her sheets.
She’s not coming back.
“You know what I don’t have, actually?” Reed’s tone made my brain itch. “Abathroom.I’m not gonna make it up six floors, dude. Let me in.”
It wasn’t empathy that made me finally open the door, or a need to have someone with me. Complete irritation, exasperation, and frustration—that’s what he saw when I finally let him in.
“Okay,I get it; you’re annoyed.” He walked straight by me, setting a six-pack on my countertop. “Fortunately, I’m used to it.”
Reed turned, taking everything in, and I waited for the comments. The remarks that would remind me of what I was, and what I failed to be. But nothing came—he didn’t say a word, or let his face change with revulsion. Instead, he cracked open two of the beers, and held one out.
“So, what’s the plan?”
I cocked my head, staring at his offering, before he shoved it in my hand. This was another new thing;beers with the boys. Unfortunately, it was at one of the worst times of my life, and the ‘new Leo’ had completely disappeared. In fact, I wasn’t sure he actually existed to begin with.
“No plan,” I mumbled, leaning against the counter as I took a sip. “Just gotta wait for our next orders. Same as always.”
