Her words broke the dam. Tears poured from my eyes. "Jase Delaney was the first and last boy I ever loved. I loved him a way that someone like you could never understand. It was one of those loves that only happens the first time, the kind that makes you dizzy and breathless. The one you compare all other guys to, and they never live up to it. But none of it matters now, right? He's got you."
Yawning, I gathered my stuff and got up to leave.
"Where are you going?" Brooke asked, following me out the door. In the hallway, Jase was leaning against the wall with his head up toward the ceiling. There were a few officers surrounding him, guarding him.
"Where do you think you're going?" Jase asked with a defeated look in his eyes.
"Detective, I know my rights," I sighed. "I haven't been arrested for anything. I was never read my Miranda rights. We all know from being in here for over three hours now that I have no clue what you're talking about when it comes to Bren. But by all means, arrest him for whatever crap he's done." I look directly at the cop in the white shirt. He looked like the head guy. "I will help in any way I can, sir. Despite the history between Detective Delaney and me, there is no way that I would allow the son-of-bitch to sell drugs out of that tattoo parlor. You need no warrants; you can look through anything and everything I have in that shop. It's all yours."
"Damn, Delaney. You just got lawyered," one of the cops laughed.
"Miss Stone," the white shirt called out, stopping me in my tracks. "Getting a warrant is the least of our problems. You need to have an unmarked car watching over you. He offered to pay Detective Delaney and Detective Mills to have you murdered."
I just nodded and looked down at my shoes, hugging myself tightly. "I'll wait outside then."
I let the tears fall as soon as I was outside. The sun was just rising, glinting off the steel skyscrapers and bending rainbows across the sky. I wanted to hail a cab and run for it. But I could feel a pair of blue eyes watching me from the window. I didn't turn around to make sure. I didn't want to see the hate he had for me. I wanted Jase Delaney to forget me, be rid of me, and I’d succeeded after all these years.
Carter jogged down the steps after me, calling my name. "Hey. Stop. You can't leave. Your life is in real danger."
I stopped and pivoted around to face him, my shoulders slouched in defeat. "Yeah. I heard. What now? You guys going to use me as bait or something?"
"You do watch too much television."
"Yeah, thanks. I don't actually, but whatever."
"Just give me five minutes, and I'll bring you to wherever you need to go. Then, we'll get someone to look after you until we set up the money exchange with Bren."
I had no place left.
Detective Mills had me wait in one of the unmarked cars in the lot. It gave me time to think. I needed to just leave. Forget everything and find someplace new. It's not like I’d created any lasting, meaningful relationships in the last few years. Hell, I barely saw my father anymore. Once a year for the holidays. He had another new family to take care of now.
The only person I’d gotten close to was Auburn, and she was gone.
If it weren't for Auburn, then I would have probably died. It's still clear as day, the night I'd met her. I’d tried to live with my father and his new wife. I stayed with them for a few weeks, but I was too out of control. My stepmother was crazed with my hours and went through the guest room while I was sleeping and found an empty whiskey bottle; a few actually. They sat me down and told me I needed to leave. I was eighteen, an adult, I needed to go out on my own or back with my mother.
I left and spent the night walking the streets, until my legs were too tired to move. Crossing my arms over my stomach and hugging myself, I backed up against the gritty brick wall of a building, feeling terrified. My father wanted me to go back to my mother. My mother was useless. What kind of piece of shit parent throws her own daughter out on the street when she tells you she was…I couldn’t even get my lips to form the word anymore.
Auburn found me on the street across from the shop. She gave me a cup of coffee and a stale candy bar from her jar; it was the first thing I'd eaten in two days.
Slowly, I put the broken shards of my life back together. I graduated from high school, enrolled in art courses at college, and worked every night alongside Auburn. When I saved enough money, I bought my own cheap computer, and the first chance I had, I logged onto my email. It was something I wished I’d never been curious about, but I missed him so much. I missed my best friend. I just needed to know if he was okay. Dozens of emails cluttered my inbox.
Charlie,
I don't know where you went. I came back and you were gone. Please call me. Please tell me you're okay.
It's hard to breathe without you.
Jase
Charlie,
My father said you left with some guy. Please tell me what is going on. Please.
Jase
Charlie,
Was it what happened with Joey? Did something happen that I missed? I told you I’d come back for you. I promised. Was 4 months so long? When we’d been friends for years? I will never get closure from you. I will always look for you, always wonder where you are and what happened. And I hate you. I hate you for that. I hate you for not waiting just a little while longer for me.
